feminism

2007-11-13T18:14:00.000-08:00

I've moved(:

http://anayilove.livejournal.com

Do comment;

_Lynlove(:

2007-11-12T17:05:00.000-08:00

Woots!
That happens to be my one & only cutest newest cousin.
Oh hail Liyana!
What utter crap(:

There's butterflies in my tummy, though.
& now, i'm off to Plaza SIngapura & my class chalet;
I am so looking forward to it(:

P/s: Changing to LJ like super soon. The time is super high for me to change & leave my past where it belongs to(:

_Lynlove(:

2007-11-12T00:09:00.000-08:00

She used to be one of the few whom i can get really wacky & comfortable with apart from my girls.

But really, in a matter of seconds, she changed drastically to someone whom i don't even know.

Maybe, my bad for not doing something?

My bad for not taking any actions?

My bad for simply be quiet & not say a word?

Alas~

He used to be my bestfriend, my only special one & my own giler-est partner.

In a matter of 3 days, he changed so quickly that i no longer recognise the familiar face of him.

Maybe, my bad for not being truthful?

My bad for picking it up?

My bad for not taking a stand?

Alas~

Holidays has changed her into someone whom she herself doesn't recognise.

Cooped up in her room almost 24/7, no wonder she's like this.

She misses that guy who played her like big time like super crazyy.

She misses that guy who was just himself when he was with her.

No Paikias & everything.

She let him go.

She said she would be okay if he's happy with her.

Then, why does it all feel this way?

This stinging painful waaay?

She just missed him,terribly.

Everybody else could tell that i confused my feelings with the truth;

& for the record, who the hell am i talking about again?

_Lynlove(:

2007-11-10T04:21:00.000-08:00

Hak dusssh!

I'm back in Spore & it doesn't feel super nice at all...

What the hell;

Spent my holidays w my dearest loved ones.

Celerated atuk's birthday at the most tak sedap-est restaurant.

Went to Mak Ngah's house & boy,her dishes were super duper delicious.

Camwhore at Mak Ngah's house while adults were usy watching Bilut.

More to criticising it rather.

Heck;

Slacked by the pool for almost 2 days straight.

And someone actually thought that i was going to die or something.

How i super wish urhh.

Dang;

I've been doing alot of thinking lately.

& i've arrived to a conclusion that i'll do it.

It doesn't mean that i'm defeated though.

It's just that i'm super sick & tired of having these cold wars w you that it just gets super boring.

If that's you really want, then i'm okay w it.

Just dun't complain if i dun't chip in to the monthly bill thingy.

Suits yourself;

I've been missing you lately.

Maybe it's due to the overloading of emo-ed songs.

Maybe it's due to watching too much television.

But baby, i miss you like super hell.

Really, i do.

I really really really really really really miss you.

imy;

Iyer lah, nasib baik i nie giler.. Nasib baik i nier tergiler giler kan bayang u.. Kalau tak, dah lame kene kompang..

_Lynlove(:

2007-11-06T18:26:00.000-08:00

Dengan sukacita, aku ingin menjerit sekuat kuat kuat hatiku memberitahu semua orang yang ku kenali & tidak ku kenali, bahawa O Levels telah punn tamat bagiku(:

Yes people, yesterday marks the end of my O's & god, it was just super su-weeeet.

Nina, Sha & I. Hahaha.. We were just floating on air while going back home even if one of us masih ader 1 more paper.. Hehs..

We were laughing, we were kekek-ing, we were just being ourselves. & trust me, it has been a-g-e-s since we're like being us due to the stress of the o's & everything. Even the constant honking of some vehicles couldnt dampen our moods(:

& it's now 10.30 in the morning & i'm supposed to still be in bed, haven't bath & haven't siap.

But urhh, i'm waaay out from bed, gua dah mandi, & bajus sume dah gosok, tinggal pakai ajer..

Daaang, Sha's gonna kill me if she read this!

Since o's is finish & everything, lemme just upload some of the super basi-ed pictures;

I ain't have any celebrations for my birthday this year & all my birthdays before that. I ain't complaining because it's muc much much much nicer this year since i got to celebrate it with my family, my true closest girlfriends, my true friends & my special boify;

Kunyit telah dianggap bodoh & buta sebab keputusan kunyit untuk menunggu budak kampung. Sesungguhnyer, walau apa pun yang terjadi, selagi kunyit masih ada mempunyai perasaan istimewa bagi budak kampung, kunyit akan tunggu.

& now, i'm off to town-ing w my girls(:

_Lynlove(:

2007-11-03T17:19:00.000-07:00

And bloody hell, this is the one & only freaking photo i had taken w Heera. Shytes!
Hokaaays, heera please remember to screamed at me going, ''Let's take manymanymany pictures, like the both of us togetheeeeeeeeerrrr!"
While i go run & take my camera & cover my ears(:

I slept quite late last night, about 3am in the morning studying the Ottomans & everything.
& it's 8.15am in the morning...
I'll be heading back to bed but before i go;

Dearest Saheera Bte Razeek,
It's going to be a full 7 years or so, getting to know you and everything.
Yeah i know, even if we did come close only during our secondary years, you have been the bestest girlfriend ever.
These 4 years that i have gone though with you simply sums up everything.
The slacking cum duty-ing time when you know what we did.
That pathetic innocent face of yours when we had our mengumpat-ing sessions.
Your daily cherry ''Hello'' even if it means it's like a freaaaking 7am in the morning.
That special laughter of yours & i'll knowi'm going to miss it like terribly since you're going JC & stuff.
And that joyful days when we bonded reaaaalllll well as true sisters.

Thank you babe for everything.
Thank you for simply being you.
Thank you for simply being there for me 24/7 without me even knowing it.
Thank you for cracking me up with all those hell lame jokes during the time when i needed it most.
Thank you for being the bestest girlfriend ever.
Thank you for being my own pillar of strength.
Thank you for all the time that we had spent.
Thank you for just being in my life.
Thank you sayaaaaang(:

With that, i know i've said it like twice, both thru sms & friendster, but hell, it's like not enough.
Happy 16th Birthday Heeeeeeeeeraaaaaa! All the best in everything you do. May you succeeed in life with your loved ones around you, constantly supporting & cheering you. May you achieve everything that you aim for & continue being this waaay & i'm super sure you'll succeed in life. All the best sayaaang! I'll be missing you like serious shit always seyy.. Hehs(:

Since i suck at singing birthday songs, i'll write down the same old lyrics & you better start holding mic or something and just screamed/sing infront of the mirror.

~Happy birthday to you,
Hapy birthday to sayangku,
Happy birthday to Saheera,
Happy birthday to yooooouuuuuuuuu(:

With that, i'm off to bed;

_Lynlove(:

2007-11-03T03:21:00.000-07:00

I was mugging and everything when i just miss him terribly.

It has been a year and so that he had left & it has been ages since i last met him due to O's.

I'll come soon honey, after my last paper which is on the Tuesday.

I'll come real soon baby, this coming Sunday.

Wait for me, would you sayang?

& yes, i'll be heading to t late Sharunnizam & t late Ustaz Rafiq, insyallah;

Somehow, i miss him, like super alot;

It's Saturday & i'm not feling very well, again.

I'm simply looking forward to the end of all these examinations & stuffs.

Do you know how serious shit scared i am right now?

Damn it;

Fam went out raya-ing again.

I just dun't get them.

Neither do i get him.

Please define hard work.

Him & his split personality.

One minute, ''Yes. You can work...''

Next minute,''Who said i let you work?''

My reply,'' I dun't bloody care if you're letting me work or not. What i AM super sure is that i am so not gonna rot in the house until March comes. What makes you think that i'm one bloody chicken who needs to be fed just by sleeping and eating for approximately 3months or so? Say whatever you want to say because i am sick and tired of listening to everything & following like one dumb girl. And, dun't you dare start on your dunt-you-dare-use-that-tone-on-me-young-lady talk because i am going to start blowing up soon. I'm already 16 & i'm not going hoo-haa over becoming 16 since it's only 16 not 61. I ain't picking up a fight with you either. I've had my future plan out. I'm going to give tuitions whether you like it or not. I'm going to work during this holidays whether you like it or not. I dun't bloody care if it's only 1K per month and it's all hard work. Seriously, i am so not nagging at you but i have got to start somewhere. & trust me, i will not touch a single cent of your bloody money cause i don't see the need to. I'll scrimp & save every penny i got & whatever stuff i'll have to buy for poly, i'll use my own bloody hard work money. And yes, that includes my laptop, my thumbdrive & my new phone which i am changing to line like super soon. Dun't you dare start to cabar me and everything because it will be done. I will get it done. Just respect my decision would you. Damn it.

Him, " Just go and continue your studying."

Dang;

i miss boify like hell.

My girlfriends are super worried.

i can just go bonkers.

With that, i miss boify like craaazzzzzyyyyyyy;

_Lynlove(:

2007-11-01T07:45:00.000-07:00

Dear all, i would be able to give tuitions for Primary 1 to Primary 6, for all subjects, after the 6th of Nov. Please ask around. Thank you.

_Liyana

2007-11-01T01:32:00.000-07:00

Take no notice of the previous post.

I was just being too emotional, according to Miss Aisha.

And speaking of my Miss Aisha, dun't forget hokaaaays, after 6th, someone is treating me to Seoul Garden(:

Had intense mugging since just now & damn am i super lethargic.

However, i'm left with the last chapter & memorising all the experiments, so i believe i'm like 3/4 done.

Currently, not feeling super well maybe since i'm not eating very well, sleeping too.

Faiz isn't at home. Why? Keluar jalan lahh ape lagik..

Maaan, i am so gonna jalan raye 32 freaaking days next year..

Dang~

Next Tuesday marks the end of my O's & the other Faiz already had find a job.

A promoter @ Taka, 9 bucks per hour, work around 8hrs per day? Not bad aye.

But, Sha would rolled her eyes since she would very love to work in a place where she sits almost all day long?

And speaking of Sha, she would be giving out tuition for primary 1 to primary 6. Those who are interested, please kindly contact Sha immediately.

As for me, i'm giving free tuitions for those children yang tidak berkemampuan, insyallah.

While deciding on that matter, i might be working in Yamaha in Plaza Singapura as a cashier. But nothing is confirmed yet so yeah, still looking out for jobs.

Sape2 yang ader lubang, please tolong recommend kayys(:

I saw my ex madrasah school friend kat Civic Lib the other time.

''Babe, whatever happened to you? Kau cengkung giler lahh, tak makan per saaak? Ohmygod! What's with those puffy eyes? Better go and rest FULLY after o's alright hunney..."

While she was busily scrutinising me, i was like wondering, '' Where the hell did the angelic her go to? How come she's changed into something horrible like foul pontianaks? Damn it."

And speaking of madrasah, do you know that it has been A-G-E-S since i last went? I know i know, i miss my form-t like hell dok! Her jokes happen to be super lame but hell, she makes my Sunday much much much nicer.

I will never let you fall

I'll stand up with you forever

I'll be there for you through it all

Even if saving you sends me to heaven

To that particular person who hates kerang/kupang/sotong/siput,

I really really really regret not answering any of your many,many,many missed calls. I really do. Maybe, if i do pick up,maybe if i had just pick up one of those calls, maybe we won't be like this.

To Atin's uncle,

I never regret falling in love with you. The impact that you had made in my life, is just shocking. I never regret spending all my time with you. I had the fun of my life & i know you did too. The thing that i had regretted most was not answering that calls. Why? Because, i'm beginning to live in the what ifs world. What if i had pick it up?

To that kampung boy,

Knowing you was the best part of my life after that hoo-haa incident. Despite our differences, you being you & me being me, that doesn't change anything since you have managed to accept me for who i am. I thank you for that, having the courage & everything to take that simple step of knowing me better.

To that someone who loves air batu,

I'll always love you for who you are. Even if you're away, i'll wait,always. I'll love you,always. You have that ability to make me laugh real hard, to make me forget him, to make me be comfortable with you instantly, to simply make me like you for who you are.

To that someone who hates it when i call myself stupid,

The days that i get to spend with you. The afternoon calls during your lunchbreaks where i got to hear your laughter. The around 7pm when you msged, ''Lynn, nanti kol i kayys.. I'm beginning to miss hearing your voice,again..'' The nights that you teman-ed me when i'm mugging. The nights that we had our open-ed table. The nights that we confessed everything. The nights that you were simply accompanying me untill all of them came back even if it means it was already 1am & you were super sleepy. The nights that you sang the male part and asked me to hafal the female part. The nights that i was just talking to you. The days, afternoons, 7pm-s & nights that all summed up to that 98 hours. ily,boify.

To boify,

ily.

imy.

iwy.

iny.

i love you.

i miss you.

i want you.

i need you.

With that, i'll always wait for you.

_Lynlove(:

2007-10-30T03:10:00.000-07:00

Something happened.
It destroyed every single inch of semangat-ness in me.
It drained every single energy left in me.
I thought. I always thought.
And boy, am i plain stupid.
And i know deep down, they will go, '' seeee, i told you so! Tu lah tak nak dgr cakap kate. Tergiler2 kan dier sangat. Kaaaaannnnn.....''

Hiatus till 31 December.

_Lynlove

2007-10-29T02:16:00.000-07:00

It's either i'm super pandai or i'm super pandai;
It's either i'm super bodoh or i'm super bodoh;
It's either i'm super dumb or i'm super dumb;
And all of 3, i will choose dumb;
But, come to think of it, since he isn't here, i'll gladly call myself STUPID;
It's stupid, bloody stupid when someone calls 20 times but i din bloody pick up;

Girlfriend, even if he happens to be one kuman instead of a kumbang, i already fell in love with him. & you yourself know me/Nur Liyana Bte Mohd Zaini.. Do i fall in love easily? And when i do, do i ever fall out of it easily? I know it's hard for you but do give me time. Love you!

English paper was okaaay;
Math was like paaaah!;
History paper was super nice;
Off to doing research for art;
I'll update again;

Dearest Atin's Uncle,
I've made a promise to you. & i shall keep that promise. I've promise that i'll never leave you until you let me go. & believe me sayang, i masih pegang kepade janji i. Whatever happens, i'll be waiting for you, always. Even if it takes 3 days, 3 months & 3 years, i'll wait. Simply because i've already fell for you & you alone. imy,atin's uncle.

*Why does it all have to be this way?

Yours truly,
.. Lynn ..

2007-10-27T19:46:00.000-07:00

Typing a short post before heading to Sha's crib.
You know, i've been blog hopping & friendster hopping & whatever hopping that's left, & all i could see was pictures, pictures and pictures of couples.
Then,i realised i seriously do not have one measley photo of me & boify.
Then,i realised again that i'm just someone else's perempuan simpanan. Fuhh!

Sha jus texted me and everything so i'll be like chiao-ing like soon before the intense maha mugging starts. Who knows, there'll be the continuation of going ga-ga over Salman Khan scenes or hot bod. Who knows, there'll be the continuation of Am's ''Why we cannot kekek now because o's is coming & be prepared for the worse shit''. Who knows, there'll be the continuation of big bearry & pemalu guy. Who knows, there'll be the continuation of giving 20 missed calss & not having the ability to reply back since it's either reception rosak atau terjatoh telephone atau simply because couldn't be bothered? Who know's, there'll be the continuation of maribs/minaribs jalan-ing raya when i'm here,cursing every minute. Fuuhh!

Your Guardian Angel
When I see your smile
Tears run down my face I can't replace
And now that I'm stronger I've figured out
How this world turns cold and breaks through my soul
And I know I'll find deep inside me I can be the one
I will never let you fall
I'll stand up with you forever
I'll be there for you through it all
Even if saving you sends me to heaven
It's ok. It's ok. It's ok.
Seasons are changing
And waves are crashing
And stars are falling all for us
Days grow longer and nights grow shorter
I can show you I'll be the one
I will never let you fall
I'll stand up with you forever
I'll be there for you through it all
Even if saving you sends me to heaven
Cuz you're my, you're my, my true love, my whole heart
Please don't throw that away
Cuz I'm here for you
Please don't walk away,
Please tell me you'll stay, stay
Use me as you will
Pull my strings just for a thrill
And I know I'll be ok
Though my skies are turning gray
I will never let you fall
I'll stand up with you forever
I'll be there for you through it all
Even if saving you sends me to heaven

With that boify, i mean every word i say. That i like you. That miss you. That i want you. That i need you. That i'll wait for you. That i will never leave you until you let me go. That i'll be there for you.
That i love you, always.

_Lynlove(:

2007-10-27T06:54:00.000-07:00

I just realised i look so pale?

I just reached home from the intense mugging w Sha & Nina & Sha's house.

Aprt from the biggy bear & pemalu guy distractions, alhamdullilah, i get to complete whatever i want to complete.

Hokaaaay, that doesn't make any sense since my brain juice is like so juicy?

Hokaaaays, that didn't make ANY sense either.

But paaah!

Gotta go people.

I'll update muchmuchmuch later if time permits.

Waiting for boify to call(:

P/s: Sha, i dun't like him. I just love him to bits. Super shocking but it's true. It super is. *Pulling the trigger & drop dead*

_Lynlove(:

2007-10-26T02:24:00.000-07:00

Today was History Paper & one word to sum it all.
Guhh-reat;
Sha & i went to school super duper early (hokaaays,part nie dah bedek urhh.. Padehal sampai school around 12.15pm).. We crapped like long lost girlfriends since it has been a-g-e-s since i hang out with her alone. We did history revision & mos of the time, Sha was planning on what to do on the 10th.. Talk about super excited lahh! & yes sha, i'll talk to boify soon about this outing aye(:

Walked into the exam room & everything & got this cinonet as the invigilator..
Thank god, what i studied came out & zaaaaaap, i might just score an A for my history lahh dok!
Hokaaaays, and it's because of that, i'm online.. Yessah! Niarie enjoy maha enjoy... Besok baru start belaja.. Pah !

Speaking of history,
i miss boify like hell.. Padehal padehal, baru 2 hari lepas jumpe dier, like tak puas spend time with him. Boify, remind me the next time we keluar-ing, lemme look into your steamy eyes for as long as i want.. I shall devote most of my time with him after o's, that i promise. ily boify(:

Priorities are priorities;
I know that i'm nothing but just a mere normal girl who doesn't make an impact in your life;
Priorities are priorities;
Whatever happen, she will always come first & i accept that fact;
Priorities are priorities;
But please, dun't be like this cus' it's just killing me deep inside;
Priorities are priorities;
I miss you like hell lahh seyy;

With that, boify, i'll always always always always always love, sayang & wait for you(:

_Lynlove(:

2007-10-24T06:18:00.000-07:00

T mop behind is muchmuchmuch nicer kaaaaan...

Speaking of mops & i know there isn't any connection at all, yours truly had just turned 16 today(:

Lemme start off with this.

To dearest Nur Liyana, happy 16th birthday to myself. May i succeed in life w t people i love constantly w me. May i score t best in o's. May i make wise decisions & not be so dependent on others.May you find everlasting happiness & love in whatever you do.May you stay cheerful & laugh & smile 24/7.May i always have the patience & strength & peace to face any challenges, to wait for anyone & to even find peace in any to every situation. With that, happy birthday Liy(:

Next.

My much appreciated thank yous to everyone who had wished me, specially to Ariftaker, boify, CT, Aleeve, Nina, Sha, family, Rahmat, all my loved ones back in Msia, Cicak & Faizal.

A big thank you to boify, for having t initiative to actually teman-ed me t night before whereby you waited until 12am sharp & then you wished me Happy Birthday. Thank you for ever being so nice & everything cause believe me, i'm deeply touched.

A ig thank you to boify again, for taking t time off & just spend time w me on my birthday itself even if it means we were just slacking in KFC & outside KFC. Next time, we go out somewhere far hokaaaays? We'll meet your mum soon if everything goes well(:

A big thank you to Nina & Aleeve for giving me a present, my 1st ever 16th present. Thank you hokaaaays.. Gue terharu banget!

A big thank you to Sha, for being t ever bestest girlfriend ever. Sanggup layan budak bodoh dalam chemistry nie for 2 days, layan kerenah aku yang giler2 nie, layan soalan2 aku yg kebanyakan nyer merapek & tak masok akal. Thank you alrights.. That's t bestest gift i can ever mintak from you.

A big thank you to Mat for just shouting out loud across the canteen.. Thanks kayys bro!

And oh, good luck to all who's taking geog paper tml aytes.. Wishing you people all t best! JIA YOU!!

Babe, i know you want the best for me. I truly appreciate that. And i wont just be like a rotten bitch just because i met someone new. But,please know. I'll always think of what you said & make wise decisions from now on. Still,i do need you around to guide me. I might just get lost,deeper into shits. And,i seriously wouldn't want to be like the next person whom we know best. Love you!

If ever you knew how much i love you, i'm sure you won't be like this. I'm sure we won't be like this. I'm sure you will try your darndest best to start over a new leaf. ily.

_Lynlove(:

2007-10-21T19:40:00.000-07:00

Hokaaaay, so today marks the start of my o levels & it din feel good,at all.
I woke up this morning w thaaat sick feeling in my tummy & i wonder why.
I ask daddy,'' What day is today? "
He replied, '' Today's Monday & you're having your Amath paper 1,remember?'' while giving me that s-m-u-g look on his face.
In returned, i groaned,i rolled my eyes & i went back to bed(:
For once,he din bellowed at me to get my ass from the bed since he saw how hard i studied for that nicest* subject since days & days & days before,whereby yesterday night marks the end of studying Amath for me.
I seriously wouldn't want to have a brainfreeze when the paper is infront of me cause all my efoorts would be futile. Hmm, is that the right word?
And,i've just checked the dictionary & it is the right word. *Pats Liyana on her back*
And,that's one of the reason why i'm blogging today or why you people see me online.
And,i did not slack okaaaaaaaay...

Hari Raya has been Hari Raya.
My family has been leaving me in the house,home alone while they happy happy happy go raya-ing.
Which simply means one thing, my siblings duit raye would be muchmuchmuchmuc more than mine.
Surprisingly,i dun't give a damn cause i'm gonna work soon,remember?
So,every month, i'll be having muchmuchmuchmuch more duit than you people since i'll scrimp and save every dollar.
On a good note, boify did teman-ed me when i was at home alone.. Hehs(:
And speaking of boify, i'm sorry alrights for screaming/ screeching into your ears when you're teman-ing me while watching 'The Maid'.
Ahahaha... Dier cool ajer tgk,tak melatah tak jerit tak aper.. Aku? Let's just leave it at that...
Oh oh oh oh, speaking of boify again, i would be celebrating my birthday w him.
Looking forward to Weds sayang....

Boify.
Urhh yeah,better go wear long sleeves on that day,hot weather or no hot weather since you're super segan kaaaaan...

I've been activating my ppaid for free incoming calls due to boify.
So,people, just call straight & i'll promise i pick up aye.

Hokaaaay, there's snakes & elephants dancing to reggaeton in my tummy.. Gahness!
Initially,my plan was to skip today's paper but due to dad's personal request & boify's stern warning, terpakse gue pegi.. Chet!
But,whatever it is, i know i studied for that subject & i sure hope for a pass. *Fingers crossed like double crossing nyer cross*

It's 11 & i'll stop here for now. Nak main online games pulaaak,relieve stress?

_Lynlove(:

2007-10-19T02:27:00.000-07:00

Dearest one,

Much had been said & done.

Your actions are a total opposite of what you said,keep saying & will be saying.

You claim something waaay different and the next minute, you're doing something else.

I wouldn't know if i'm dumb or i'm dumb.

I think i'm dumb.

For trusting you,your words & your feelings.

I'm dumb for believing you when you said,'' itu sume silap.. ''

Maybe because, i've been hurt many times that you thought nothing of it and do it one more time.

Maybe because, i've been stupid & dumb & gullible that you thought it was okay to do like that to me.

You perfectly knew what condition was i in & hey,that didn't stop you from hurting me.

Maybe because,if i was never in the main picture in the first place, you would have been much much much happier w MyRa minus-ing all the pretense & lies infront of me.

Dearest one,

I truly enjoyed myself talking to you even if almost the whole time i was just quiet & you were just listening to nothing but dead silence.

But, it had happened and i'm not blaming her, definitely not you because i know we were nothing but mere friends.

I was dumbfounded when you told me and since then,i knew everything will not be the same anymore.

You've made an impact in my life & i'm glad you did it because as for now, you may go.

Dearest one,

Were your words something that you played alot with?

Were your words something that you are good at?

Were your words something that you are an expert at?

Did you ever mean what you say?

Do you ever mean every single word that you say?

Because,i find it super hard to believe it.

Because, i find it super duper hard to believe what you're saying.

& if that hurt you, you've hurt me more,much more.

Lynn, give me a chance.. And i'll try to make it up 4 it..

I made a huge mistake.

Forgive me?

Sengsare dibuatnyer kalau i tak msg u/u tak msg i.

Forgive me?

Let's start all over again.

Forgive me?

You've succeeded in making me like you.

Forgive me?

Make me fall in love with you.

Forgive me?

I miss you like super lahh seyy.

Forgive me?

Selamat malam awak.

Dearest one,

I was mabok when i sent you that.

I was confident that we had something going on between us.

Your background and mine din stop us from having that lil special thing between us.

You proved me wrong,dead wrong.

For a split second, i did miss you. I know i did.

Since the whole time, the whole of that lil short period, YOU was what i think about,always.

When i was lying on my bed, when i was listening to some emo/love songs.

Regardless of what i did at that point of time, i was thinking constantly of you, you, you, you, you & you.

Dearest one,
All the best ochey with whatever relationship you have w her.
From t bottom of my heart, i'll let you go.
For her sake.
I know i'm not being fair to you.
I know i'm not giving you any chance at all.
If ever i could just describe to you how sorry i am things had to end this way,i would.
My happiness is nothing compared to your girl's.
She needs you like super alot, go get her.
Lynn takmau dgr all those crap about you not sayang-ing her and everything cuz i've said it through the phone manymanymany times.

Kasih sayang & cinta boleh dipupuk
Ape tu dipupuk?
Alah, dipupuk lahh...
I tau.. mcm dibuat pelan2 kan,lynn?
Urhh,a'ah a'ah.. dibuat pelan2, dipupuk lahh tu.. kan same...
Ape u same.. lain lahh... u gunekan bahasa melayu .. i gunekan bahase melayu..

Dearest one,
I've never said it to you because i thought that you knew all along.
I'm repeating the same old mistake again & i never learn from it.
With that, publicly, i admit defeat.
With that, publicly, i fell in love w you.
With that, publicly, i'll let you go.

Syg, all i wanted since then was your love. It's nothing much,so i thought i was.

_Lynlove(:

2007-10-17T00:52:00.000-07:00

And, that happens to be my dearest su-weetest cousin from Kedah, Naufal Sameer(:

Yeah i know.. I cakap lain,buat lain..
And yes people,i'm currently sick,seriously ill.
So,please postpone all those invitations after i get well/after o's aye..
Balek kampong was fun and everything.
Met w my tunang sambil mengeratkan lagi silaturrahim..
What with our own version of fireworks & it's uber cool..
Tak sia2 spent 40 bucks on t Merdeka fireworks style.
Tak payah gue pegik jauh2 tgk bunge api.
(:

Life has been .. life?
It hasn't been wonderful but it has been okaaay..
Life isn't always all thaaat...
I mean,since when life is fair?

Practical is tml & here i am chatting w Aleeve..
Listening to Tiada Ertinya by Nur Fatima..
Random : Where are you? You claim it & yet,you're MIA.. Jeez! & i thought you're not like him?

Somehow,imy.

_Lynlove(:

2007-10-11T06:06:00.000-07:00

I seriously don't get him,at all,ZILCH!
Really,what's w painting the house when there's exactly 3 days left to Raya?
Like super really, if setakat paint the walls kat living room,alright jugak..
Ini tak, kene cat the WHOLE house,termasok ceiling2 sekalik..
The funny thing is,budak yang tak celebrate raya,dier suruh cat..
Grr~

Din went to school tadik for EIRP,sorry Shab...
I dunt think i can make it for tml's paper either,since most likely i would be going back to Msia..
& i dun think i would be sitting for Eng paper,since i would still not be in Spore..

But really, luckily i did help my dad these past 2 days of re-painting & everything since we got to talk about almost everything..
I got to know and see the other side of him..
He talked about his ever first love & it was just sweeeettttt....
When Fransisca was merajok-ed and everything, sanggup dok member tunggu depan blok, baling2 batu kat tingkap.. Selagik tingkap tak bukak, tak tido lahh bapak aku yg satu nie..
And yes, his first gf was a minah salleh(:
We talked,we shared opinions,we joked,we laughed & i know that he is one nice person..

We were busily painting the ceiling and everything while listening to music..
Biler keluar lagu Give it to me, we joget like maha..
Biler keluar lagu trance, we did moves like kekek..
Biler keluar lagu You are the music in me, he dedicated that song to mommy..
Biler keluar lagu Kekasih Gelapku, he gave me that odd look of his..
"Ku mencintaimu lebih dari yang apapun.. Meskipun tiada satu org pun yang tahu.. Ku mencintaimu sedalam2 hatiku.. Meskipun engkau hanya kekasih gelapku..''

After he heard that 4 lines, he said,'' I know that you had recently suffered a loss & for the record, i'm not talking about Deco/Nina... Dun't ask me how i know or dun't give me thaat type of maner - ader - seyy - looks.. I'm your dad,i know. I dun't quite approve of these types & im sure you know that too.. But, i had kept quiet all these while cuz i wanna know,i wanna see your reaction & your actions.. And daughter, i'm proud of you...

Biler keluar lagu Drama,love & 'Lationships by Babyface..
"It's not about who's right & who's wrong.. It's not about who's weaker & who's strong.. It's not about who's innocent and who's fault.."

He asked, " Do you miss him?''
My reply,'' Hmm...''
Him, " Hmm as in yeah,you miss him?
My reply, " Hmm as in i can't be bothered to layan you bapak!''
Him, " I know you miss him. And again,i'm saying this again, do not give me that look of yours.. I know you do.. And it just makes it a whole lot difficult when our families are close.. And, i'm sorry for that.. Really,i am.. If i know these would happen,i had long cincang2 him,since he had just messed up with my daughter.. But,just hang in there.. You're strong enough to face all these odds.. You're not like any other girls.. The one yg selalu sakit,yg selalu masok hospital, yang selalu pengsan/pitam, yang selalu muntah2.. You're not.. You're strong in your own way.. Your own quiet way.. You never say much.. You're always giving in.. You're always accepting things for what they are.. You never question why.. You never blamed others even when they/he is at wrong.. You just never dun't do stuff like any normal girls would do.. Im not saying that you're weird or abnormal.. But,at times, i just feel like shaking your head and knock some sense into you.. I seriously tak nak my daughter jadik mcm Ana dalam ceriter merapek tuu.. But whatever it is, how much i scream at you,how much i shout at you, how much i curse you & call you stupid, how much i layan you mcm nak tak nak,how much i always keep saying NO to you, it's not that i'm mean or whatsoever.. It's just that i'm scared of letting you go.. Call me coward or whatever you youngsters call it, but as a parent, i wouldnt want to see my daughter get hurt.. I wouldnt want to lose my daughter to the outside world cause you know why? Because,maner lagik nak dapat 1st mth punyer pay this coming Dec kalau bukan my first daughter kaaan... Ahaha.. Im joking.. But really, i wouldnt want to lose any of my children,especially you..
My reply, '' Jangan nak macam pa lahh bapak!''

~

O's coming like super fast mcm fly..
So,this might be my last update until 6th November aytes..

Salam sayang & rindu,
Lynlove(:

2007-10-09T07:12:00.000-07:00

Time sure past super fly.

It's Graduation Day tml & i'm so looking forward to that.

Ending school tml around 11.30pm & after that,it's mugging time..

SHuckness!

It's kinda suckish really,when you're feeling something but you're dunt know what is it.

Like you know,you haven't done the best enough to accomplished it padehal,i've given my bestest bestest utmost bestest best.

Like you know,nothing stays the same after that.

Situation changes,people changes,feelings changes, even advertisements changes.

It's like,the constant same all thang,haunting you every night,every day.

Like,you know,it's like there's just a monster deep inside,just waiting to burst..

You know,all the pretense and stuff.

Pretending to be okay,and not a few minutes later..

Like,whatever happen to world peace?

Damn it.

Like you know,you're stuck in a situation whereby both are your closefriends.

Like you know something & you're supposed to tell.

But you dont want to tell.

And everything ends because of this damn it thang.

Dang!

Really,if i have the power to turn back time and delete some stuffs..

I know i would delete him,firstly.

I know i would delete all those confused retarded children kat NanyangPoly.

I know i would delete all those sickness without cure.

I know i would delete all those confused feelings/fickle-minded people.

I know i would delete all those people who doesnt know what they really want.

ANd oh,i know i would delete all liars/backstabbers.

WHatever happen to world peace again???

I shall just go call Arin up & talk to him.. He knows how to make me feel better.. & aleeve,muke dier bukan mcm pisang!

Then,i shall meet up with Ron,he'll know how to make my day..

Then,i shall go crap with aleeve/rooney yang tak jadik.

Then,i shall mug like the world is ending.

Then,i shall buy Fik's new album & just go all emo-ed.

Then,i shall just mug and mug and mug.

Thn,i shall just go out with Adan on my birthday.

Then,i shall just have lunch with Raffael.

Then,i shall just rot and die.

Damn it!

_Lynlove(:

2007-09-28T07:24:00.001-07:00

O's is just as around the corner like 20 more days.
Night study sessions starting soon;
Prelims results are out & dang,i dunt know mine.
That's the most worse feeling ever.
Yang lain dah dapat,and i still haven't got mine.
Damn it;

Mugging?
I dun't think there's enough time to mug like serious mug shit.
But then again,i think of that shiny new bike & meeting someone at TP,it drives me like hell to do muchmuchmuch better.
Damn it;

_Lynlove(:

2007-09-27T06:30:00.000-07:00

I dun't know what's with me today;
I simply am not me;
Maybe it's because of the heavy rain or maybe because of my suckish results;
Maybe it's because i was treating you unfairly or may because i simply do not like today;
Whatever the reasons are, i dun't think it makes any difference in this bloody world laaahh...

For the record,
I hate exams;
I hate O's;
I hate people claiming to be someone else laahh;
I hate people acting dumb,really i do;
I hate people who do say something different and do something else waaaay different;
I hate my bloody suckish life laaah;
I hate studying;
I hate YOU;

Damn it;
What good am i in this world when i can do nothing good?
What good am i in this world when i can just rot in hell?
What good am i in this world when really,i can't do a simple Amath qns or answer "Reasons for Oct Revolution'' or answer "Why does the damn photographer publish this photo?"
I must be so stupid bin gundu bin bodoh bin ajaib bin selenger~
Again,how the hell am i suppose to know?
Damn it;

Dun't go on saying you dun't know and the next minute,you got to solve it & start giving me that smug look on your face.
Damn it;

Dun't go on saying you would fail and the next minute you emerged as the most cleverest one & start glowing like shit.
Damn it;

Dun't go on saying you din understand the topic,that's why you dunt know how to teach me.
Damn it;

Kalau dah sombong semacam,tak nak tolong members lain,nak jadik kedekut dgn knowlegde kauu sendirik,cakap ajerr.. Aku no hal,ader byk lagik org lahh yg aku boleh mintak tolong..
Damn it;

Dun't try to go and act all so innocent when you're not.
Damn it;

I shall just mug and mug and mug.
Damn it;

Dearest Adan,
Whatever happened to us,let's just leave it at that & remain friends. I admit,maybe things got a lil bit fast. I admit,maybe i terikutkan hati i sangat.. Iyerlah,sape laah i dalam hidup u.. Maybe,things are like this because i was simply too dumb & blind(:
But really,it was nice knowing you.. Ori giler bin ajaib nyer.. Ahaha.. Stylo mylo barley,adan(:
I really am sorry if i'm just not fair to you...

Damn it;

_Lynlove(:

2007-09-26T06:46:00.000-07:00

It hurts me when i see you like that.

Really,i used to think that our society was super ready to give people like him a second chance, what's with the ongoing campaigns and everything..

Really,i used to be proud of us,Singaporeans,for wanting to adapt to changes readily & to accept them for who they readily are.

But then again, i think it was all just an act lahh,to give them high hopes & just crushed it like that. Poofht!

Just imagine, 50 bucks for heavyheavyheavy work. Ot,70 bucks? Maaaak,not even worth it laaah...

Why not other jobs?

Cuz people wont accept him because of his records.

God,whatever happen to giving others a second chance?

Damn it):

Whatever happened to us,let's just leave it at that.

Results coming out tml.

Dang,i'm super scared,serius shit.

I think papabear's attitude just make it worse lahh,you know the heck care one...

I mean,he's so into pushing me to do my very best.

But now?

Damn it!

You want your ex back?

Go get her.

Damn it;

Talk about one stupid girl lahh):

_Lynlove(:

2007-09-25T06:42:00.000-07:00

O's is 22 days away and i can't seem to help it,but feel this waaaay):

You know,the way when you constantly,always think about questions but you don't know the answers.

It's not that you're dumb or what for not knowing the answers,but you know perfectly well where the answers can be found,at a certain page,in a certain book..

Talk about being silly laaah.. Like you can remember where the answers,which page,but you don't know the answers?

Seeee,i've repeated that sentence like twice.

& to make matter worse,sampai terbawak2 biler tidur-ey..

You dun't get enough sleep, you wake up in the wee hours,just to stare at the ceiling.

Why not revise? Because i can't,i simply can't.

Nak tidur-ey ponn tak boleh..

Whcih seriously means one thing,taking in medicine even if i'm not sick,just for the sake of waiting for drowsiness to come QUICK.. Shuckness!

I'm just super sick thinking of it.. What with teacher's teaching like super fast like as if there's no tml..

Dang,how i wish it can all be over asap but at the same time, i'm just not prepared):

Damn it!

Daddy & Mummy,

I haven't been the greatest daughter of all. I admit i rebel-led in my own quiet ways. I admit, i can just shut both ears & act dumb or seriously stupid like a flamingo,whatever you called it.

I know,you wanted your own daughter back,the old one,who always emerged as the 1st one in class in those early days. I still remembered what you say,daddy.. Really,i do.. It has been the one and only energy boost in studying for o's right now.. "I dun't know whatever happen to us,i dun't.. But,i miss my daughter who was always the brightest in class,the one who alwasy got 1st in class.. The one who always was proud of her good achievements.. I really want her back for this time round,i really do" - Daddy

Those sentence moved me like hell,daddy.. Really,it does. I too dun't know whatever happen to us.. Sometimes,i wonder,why now? Why not 6 mths before,when my morale was super low,when everything was just a dead end,when o's was like months months long? Why now,when there's another 22 more days to go? But daddy, whatever it is, i'll do my utmost best in preparing for o's. Dun't worry daddy,you'll get your daughter back. You'll get it back,i promise you... Mummy, i know you're one dearest bestest mummy who would never push her children too hard. You support everything i do,i like. I thank you for that. '' Tak payah buat aper2, just get good grades,i'm happy for you"-Mummy. I'm doing it,i'm getting good gardes,better than ever,cuz i want to see you smile,i want to see you be proud of me(:

Shabrina.

If ever my actions/words hurt you in any ways,i'm truly sorry. Really,i am..Good luck for o's.. Meeting you at TP kaaaan? I can't wait to see you then..

With that,the best of luck for o's aye...

Hehs(:

Baby Face - Drama, Love, Relationships

Its not about whose right, or whose wrong

Its not about whose weaker, or whose strong

Its not about whose innocent, or whose fault

It aint really bout that kind of thing at all

Its not about who does it, who done it, or did it to who

Dont matter if the both of you lose

Its really not bout nothing, cept for me and you

Its all about drama, and love, and 'lationships

And when the going gets tough, you deal with it

And you dont ever, you never walk away from it

You hold on, and be strong

Its all about drama, and trust, and making it

If your somebody, mess up, you take it in

Dont let no body come between you you just stay with it

And hold on and be strong

And Hold on

Its not about the stupid things that we say

We're always saying stupid things anyway

Its not about the secrecy or the lies

Girl everybodies got a secret to hide

Its not about who was it, or was she, whose creeping on who

Wont matter if the both of us lose

Its really not bout nothing, cept for me and you

_Lynlove

2007-09-24T07:02:00.000-07:00

I've said my piece, accept it?

Initial plan was to chill after mugging/doing hw/revising..
Sekalik boifie,send me the most cutest msg ever," u takder niat langsung ke nak masok online? takper takper, i pakai ilmu hitam,nanti tergerak hati u nak masok(:''
Without further delay,okaaaay,part tu dah bedek urhh...
I did delayed for about half an hr,kononnyer nak melambat2kan waktu,supaye member kiter tu marah.. Ahahahaha....
Masok & everything,i'm chattin w him right now(:
He's super excited lahh since he found a job,after his officer dah membebel2 nie sumer..
Dah berangan lahh konon,nak belanje makan kalau pass o's..

"Pass ajer? - Me
"A'ah lahh.... abih u nak aper?'' - Boifie
"Duit tu better siap kaaan ehs.. I nak swenson(:" -Me
"Fuh! High maintenance pulaaaaak org tuu.. I baru nak belanje u air batu.." - Boifie

Air batu ajer ,dier nak belanje? Tak payah lahh,i boleh dpt free pon(:

On a much lighter note, alhamdullilah, i've finished my art.. Kalau tak dapat A1,i wouldn't know what to say seyy... Like, i devoted almost ALL my time for art ALONE!

Was TLS's assistant.. Thanks to Nina for teman-ing & help-ing me even if she menyesal later since fufuh tak layan dier and everything.. Super sorry lah girlfriend..

And oh!
Man U MENANG!!!!!!
Wahahaha,am nangis ke pe baaaangggg?
I slept late lahh semate2 nak tgk ManU main punyer pasal..
The red card given was harsh lahh,but still,Chelsea yg kene,bukan ManU(:
Ronaldo was uber cute w that hair of his..
Rooney main dah makin baik,i'msuper impressed..
The new guy,Terez isit? He isn't that bad.. Cantik dok dier score...
Giggs as usual,tak pernah hampekan gue..
Saha was super cool w that penalty shooutout.. Baik laah brudder..
And who the hell yang berani cakap,Chelsea bagus?
Go ManU(:

_Lynlove(:

2007-09-22T06:11:00.000-07:00

I've known stuffs which i'm not supposed to know.

They had my best interests at heart & i thank my gf-s for that.

I never really talk about the the after effects.

I dun't think i see the need to.

What's done is done.

But,why this feeling?

Why?

Haven't i done enough to prove to you that i'm your friend?

That i'm your girlfriend?

Why does it all have to be reduced to this?

If that was what you want,why wouldn't you tell me?

If that was what you really wanted,why would'nt you tell me?

If that was what you badly wanted,why wouldn't you tell me?

Friend,is my good,never good enough for you?

Friend,whatever happen to 10 years of CME lessons?

Friend,did it ALL fall on deaf ears?

Friend, i have never put ANY blame on you.

Friend,as far as i could remember, i din even called you names,not after what had happened.

Friend,havent you heard of a saying,'' Never ever build your own happiness on one's misery,cause it would never happen,regardless how hard your efforts were?''

Friend, if i could turn back time, i knew i would,i wouldn't ever want to meet you.

Friend,i try not to be too arrogant, but i believe it's time i take a stand for myself.

Friend,i've been quiet for so long that everyone takes advantage of it.

Friend,i've been acting super dumb,so that i can see with my own eyes what your true colours really are.

Friend,i did my own calculations & everything,and it's confirmed that you're the one who's at lost.

Friend,i can't deny that i miss you too.

Friend, If ever we get to meet under a different sky,

Maybe then things would be much better,between you and i.

We could always hold on to this one special thing we shared,

But,it would be too much for you to bear since you're one who doesn't know how to appreciate..

To my dearest Nurul Fasha,

Thanks for everything. Really,without you, my fighting spirit, i know i wouldn't be what i am right now.

To my dearest Nur Ainina,

Thanks for being there for me. Even if i dun't talk much, thank you for just tolerating my mood swings.

To my dearest Saheera,

Thanks for just being my pillar of strength,babe. Without you knowing it, it's really because of you that i had managed to pull through. Thanks alot,sayang..

To my dearest Nurizan,

Thanks for the constant words of encouragements & support. Without them,i dun't know if i can be like what i am today or would i still be a zombie who's just turned dead(:

To my dearest Shabrina Bte Shari & Muhd Aliff,

It had been a roller-coaster ride for me. Really, it had. Shabrina, thank you for the constant i-love-you's. Thank you for being there for me,constantly. Thank you for just being you. Thank you for all the night sessions. Thank you for always believing in me. Shabrina, i believe you still do keep in contact with Muhd Aliff. Shabrina,tell him this. I've never put any blame on him. You know me,i'm too innocent for all this hatred. I'm too innoncent for all this revenge & stuffs. I believe everything happened for a reason,and i'm in no position to question it. Muhd Aliff, if you can and you're sure that you can make Shabrina happy,why don't you? Don't use my girls as your reason. Because believe me, Shabrina's no longer with us. Whatever she do or wherever she is, we won't be taking care of her anymore since it's her decision,not ours. With that, i don't think my girls would be the reason why you can't woo her. Muhd Aliff, if Shabrina Shari is the girl you want real bad,then go for it. If Fizah is the girl whom you really want,then go for it. Just dun't repeat your mistakes,would you? Oh,Shabrina, ku pegang pade janji kau. Meeting at the gates of TP, 9 yrs down the road,ROMM together. With that,the best of luck to the both of you.

To my dearest sayang,

Rey,terime kasih utk segalanyer. I tau i nie lah gf yang paling bermasalah sekalik.. Ahahah... But,thank you for being there for me. 2 months of being with you,really,it is pure joy(: I dun't think i can stop thinking of you each day. You're constantly on my mind. Thank you for teaching me the true meaning of love. Thank you for accepting me for who i am. I nie penuh dgn serba kekurangan,but that didn't stop you from having me as your special girlfriend. I love you,bi. I really do love you,sayang(:

_Lynlove

2007-09-20T06:03:00.000-07:00

At the end of the day, i really hope you know i still love you. I might not be there physically, but at the end of the day,i'm there.I'm screwed up,i really am. I dunt want to bring you guys down with me. She has screamed enough sense into me. I dun want to mensia-siakan tekak dier tu. I love all of you but i still cry at nightly. I love all of you but at times,i get so pissed off. I have to get away n i understand if u dun get it. I dun get it either sometimes,but tis is me. Im no longer the girl u guys noe. Ive changed ~

Loving you always babes. Rmbr eh, 9 years down the road, we will meet each other at ROMM okays =)

Ku mencintaimu, lebih dari apapun
Meskipun tiada satu orang pun yang tahu
Ku mencintaimu, sedalam-dalam hatiku
Meskipun engkau hanya kekasih gelapku

Ku tahu ku takkan selalu ada untukmu
Disaat engkau merindukan diriku
Ku tahu ku takkan bisa memberikanmu waktu
Yang panjang dalam hidupku~

It aches when i realised that it's not gonna be the same anymore. It hurts so bad that i can't even know how to describe it. I dun't know what when wrong,when it went wrong. I mean,if i were to have bionic eyes,laser mind & my flying cloak, i know,i would do my darndest fucking best to stop it. I would have save us,if there ever were us,in the first place.
There's so much of,''i would'', that i know it's just, impossible.

I wasn't stupid to cry when Alep left me; Kumbang bukan seekor.
I wasn't stupid to cry when Abg Zam left me;I know,he went to a muchmuchmuch better place.
I wasn't stupid to cry when Nina left me;I know,it was her decision.It was never mine.
I wasn't stupid to cry when CL left me;I know,that was our only choice & it was the best solution,anyone could ever think of.

I cried,now when i no longer see the girl i used to know. We used to be so tight before. Now? We're physically there,but i can never realy get to talk to you. Now? Awkward silence fill these huge gap between us. What makes me so sad,is that,whenever i see you, all i could & can see is a girl,so dead. I just already lost you,mate.

You seem to act so jovial when you're with your mates, but it's just an act. Isn't it?
I have and always been the girl who fears changes. I try my every best to stop it from happening. It just did & i really do not know how to adapt to it. Stuffs happened & i thought it made us stronger. I was wrong. I thought we would be tighter like how i am with Sha. I was wrong. I thought we would be there for each other more like how i am now with Izan & Nina. I was wrong.

I really was never good with words. Even as i'm typing it out right now,it's like as if, i feel that i haven't made my point real clear & out loud. It's like as if i'm missing the essential ingredient,to simply make you understand,make you know. I failed~

Tukar gambar babe, i just wanna see your face~

_Lynlove

2007-09-19T06:48:00.000-07:00

My final work for O's 2007(:

We're all so busy with our own lives & O's & everything..
We're so into our own circle of friends now, that i no longer recognise you..
We're so different now, that i dun't think i know you..

I miss those days i spend,laughing with you.
I miss those day i spend,crapping with you.
I miss those days i spend,going out with you.
I miss those nights,where i get to be me,you get to be you & we can just talk about anything.

Purple lavenders,dang~

_Lynlove(:

2007-09-13T22:49:00.000-07:00

I am super chirpy today; since exams are no longer around,for the time being laah.. Hehs(:

I had Amath paper as my final paper & i shadn't say much about it since that's the only bloody subject which i can never click-ed.

Maybe it's because i really never had put much attention to it,but hey, isn't doing homeworks/paying attention to Chong is any student's way of giving attention?

How hard i studied,(& please i did studied hard for it), i still get F9. Talk about demoralising lahh!

Until,i've reached to a certain extent where i can no longer bother about that sole particular subject. Dun't start on your -how-unfair-it-is-to-drop-Amath-and-not-Art- crap or -it's-your-studying-methods-that-are-wrong- crap..

I've changed my methods for countless of times & beats me,i just can never pass that subject.

It's either F9 or F9 or F9 or F9~

Really,i know how to do it in class. I did my revisions. But when the time comes, poofh!.. I can't remember one single thing.. All my formulas,sume dah gone by the wind. Talk about playing tricks on me,mind~

Studies aside*pushing it waaaaaaaay in the storeroom*..

I'm just chilling/slacking at home,infront of my dearest computer, as if there wouldn't be any tmr(:

I've just checked my super banyak mails,blog-hopped,checked my frenster acc,checked my multiply,checked my syg's webpage & listening to more current music.. Ahaha...

Life has been okaaaaay so far..

Met new people,heard new stories,see new couples(;

Since,i'm not celebrating Raya07,i shall as well make full use of my Ramadhan kaaaan..

So,i shall pamper myself w more food..

Addicted to If That's Okay With You-Shayne Ward

I wanna keep your toothbrush at my apartment

Make a second set of keys and ask you to move in

Im not crazy

I know what im getting myself in

I wanna live with you

If thats okay with you

Just imagine,someone would do that to you,say that to you..

I know Eezan would start cair-ing,aleeve would start to go hurray-ing & Chikanoz would start preparing the wedding & everything*winks*

I think it's super su-weet lahh even if it would never happen to me,but what the hell~

And speaking of su-weet,my new daily dosage of sweetness is still MIA):

Hokaaaaay,part tuu dah bedek urhh.. Padehal baru malam tadi, we msg-ed like nobody's business...

Dang,i miss laughing like one mad cute*ehem! lady...

& oh,don't start asking me about this,cuz i'm not ready to tell(:

CL<3

See,and i'm smiling to myself.. Ahahaha....

Later;

_Lynlove(:

2007-09-12T21:00:00.000-07:00

Manymanymanymanymany incidents had happened & i can't deny that my words/actions might hurt you in any way.
But babe,i believe everything happens for a reason,just like what had happened to us
With that,thank you for agreeing to start over with me
We actually became more tight-er/closer than ever
GF <3.

I'm officially letting go of my prelims.*Waving bye-bye frantically to prelims*

The papers were super suckish & i'm betting that tml's papers would be SUPER suckish.

What with my strongest subjects going haywired,dah lah kiter forget it pon cantek..

On a lighter note, it's already puase(;

Selamat berpuasa-ing people!

Ahaha.. i did ask for ubat ulcer,not anything else..What the hell! & yes, you have succeeded in making me laugh..& no,pangkat u tetap same..

_Lynlove(:

2007-09-11T03:55:00.000-07:00

Percayakah dirimu

Pada keindahan cinta

Yang membuat jiwa ini

Merona jingga

Percayakah dirimu

Pada kekuatan cinta

Yang memberi kita waktu

Untuk bersama lagi

Karena cinta ku ada di sini

Jumpai dirimu walau sebentar saja

Terbanglah bersama diriku

Menuju langit biru

Teriakan kata cintamu

Sedahsyat halilintar

Melayanglah bersama diriku

Melintasi samudera

Tarikanlah tarian cintamu

Seindah gelombang

_Cinta OST Love Is Cinta

& to my dearest special Sarip,

Kemana perginya cahaya dari wajahmu

Yang selalu menyejukkan hatiku

Mengapa sekarang mendung menyelimutinya

Wajah ayumu begitu sendu pilu

Tidakkah kau ingin kembali bersinar

Seperti mentari di pagi hari

Beri kehangatan kebahagiaan juga kedamaian

Tersenyumlah… Terlalu pagi untuk bersedih

Tersenyumlah sayang waktu tak akan pernah menunggu

Tersenyumlah… Jalan kita masih begitu panjang

Tersenyumlah sayang hidup ini begitu indah

_Tersenyumlah OST Love Is Cinta

Really girlfriend,i don't know what problems you are currently facing right now..

But,be strong aye?

Love you<3

_Liyana

2007-09-08T01:44:00.000-07:00

Why he laugh-ed like maha?
Because i made a super hilarious funny face laaaahhhh(:
Yesterday's news was about him.
Sheesh,i just miss him like alot lahh..
Define "alot".
Hmm.. More than normal? More than enough? More than.. "alot"?
Days had past. Months had past.
I still miss him,though.
I dun't think i can ever stop from missing him.
I dun't ever think i can forget him,no matter how busy my life gets.
My special baby brother will always be at the back of my mind, no matter how cramp my brain/hotaak can get due to O's.
I miss spending my days with him.
I miss spending my nights with him.
Ahaha, the free wet kisses i get from him when i acted as if i was asleep.
& hearing his cute laughter when i suddenly said,"Boo! Pegik tido lahh.. Kakak nak skewl besok.. MASOK TIDOR!" & before he can terkedek2 lari,i plant one huge wet kiss on him(:
Ohh,those nights & not to forget days...
I can still remember when i was mugging for exams, he was sitting infront of me with that naughty look on his uber cute face..
I thought nothing of it.. But,him being him,he loves attention kaaan... He grabbed my paper & sit on it.. Ingatkan cute laahh tuu.. Tak payah deny lahh,it's cute whaaat(:
I can just go on & on & on talking about him.
Dang,i miss him super super super much~
& urhh,how many times have i said it? ahaha...

Dearest deco,
Dun't worry aye.. Biler kakak dah dapat lesen motor, every 3 days kakak datang,jenguk u okaaay... Nanti,kakak tabur bunge2 yang wangi2 tuu.. Ape name dier lagik? Kakak panggil bunge tu bunge pontianak.. I miss you like manymanymanymany(:
Mwuahs!

_Liy

2007-09-06T06:58:00.000-07:00

Why these particular pictures?

It's because i'm super super super bored.

I know,padehal exam next week & here i am slacking 24/7.

Hokaaays,part tuu dah bedek urhh....

Kalau aku slack,aku nyer art tak akan habis nyer kaaaan...

& speaking of my art piece for O's,alhamdulillah, sudah habis ku siap-in dan kini berada di bilik art(:

Fuulemak,the final piece was waaay nicer than before laaah.. Nie case dah start nak puji diri sendiri tauu... Kuikuikuikui...

Completed mummy's blog today & sudah ku hebohkan lagi akan kehadirannya. Chey!

So far,response is okay.. Almaklum,baru jerr kan mule bisness yang tak seberape..

I really really hope bisness will turn out guh-reat,just guh-reat.

Oh,the pictures were taken when my family & I w the Uda's had went to watch the fireworks. Alah,yang held kat Esplanade sempena National Day07..

We, as in, Faiz & I were just crapping laaah as you people can see.. Kahkahkah(:

Dang,i miss chilling w Faiz.

Later~

_Liythelove

2007-09-06T00:17:00.000-07:00

Specially to Shabrina Shari,

Babe,i truly am sorry for not able to celebrate your birthday with you @ Bugis. Really,it was never my intention to cancel it last minute. You do know kan that i really want to go but something came up. & also, i'm sorry for not being there for you when you needed me most. Excuses aside, i don't think i'm the right person to console/be there for you, when i'm not being myself, when i was just feeling all wrong inside, when i was just the selfish-&-heartless-&-unfair-me. With that, i truly am sorry for my attitude/behaviours. I'm sorry,i truly am.

I've watched Love Is Cinta.
2 words : SUPER SHIOK(:
Go see go see go see <3

_Liythelove

2007-08-30T23:53:00.000-07:00

Much needs to be update.

But,time isn't allowing me too.

FULL updates after O's aye.

Taufik's brand new Malay single "Teman Istimewa" has been launched on Msia radio airwaves.

His 3rd album that would be launched in Msia,in the upcoming month of September.

Scheduled Appearance by the man himself, is as follows :

He would be singing in Juara Bintang Klasik Nusantara Putra World Trade Centre KL
Live broadcast on RTM at 8.30pm, 070907

080907
Sinar Lebaran Mediacorp TV Theatre

090907
Kampong Glam Hari Raya Light Up Malay Heritage Centre at 7.30pm

300907
President's Star Charity Mediacorp TV Theatre

201007
Raya Fiesta 2007
Orchid Country Club at 1.00pm

Closing date for Tb.net contest is on the 310807,which is today.

How silly i sound, i miss hearing your voice.
I super can't wait for your 3rd album,dude.
Wish all the best in your future endeavours in Msia any ANYWHERE else.
You will get to sing at the Grammys,don't worry.
Since all FIKNATICS would support you all the way.
With that,i miss you,your voice,your songs & oh,your mega-watt smile(:
Fiknaticism all the way~

_Liyana

2007-08-19T05:23:00.000-07:00

what are you (how cruel are you) Is it not enough

That you hurt me? Have pity.How cruel are you?

Why my love, is it so easy for you to bring me to tears

And why do I accept that you hurt me when my soul is part of you

And why am I accepting this torment at your hands?

If this is love, my misery is from it

And if I am to blame, I cannot say never again

And if it is my lot to live in torment

I shall live in torment

Have you no pity? Have you no shame that you cheat me knowing the love I have for you

Is it not a shame, the passion and the years and longing that I am living for you?

Was the love lost completely? Or has it been a game

Was the love and tenderness and my heart and faith in you all lost?

If this is love, my misery is from it

And if I am to blame, I cannot say never again

And if it is my lot to live in torment

I shall live in torment

_Nancy Ajram

_Liythelove

2007-08-15T02:40:00.000-07:00

I believe everything happens for a reason.

And to you, i can't wait to know why.

Cheers(:

_Liy

2007-08-13T02:20:00.000-07:00

I've gotten back my results,

and i am super proud of it.

Ahahaha...

I'm uber happy.

Really,i am.

And oh,superman, you owe me something ehs..

I can't deny that you're hot.

You're uber cute,i must admit.

And i believe,that's my only weakness.

Going all so cair-ing the next minute over motorbikes and hard bods.

But apart from that,believe me,we are two totally opposite people.

You with your wild addictions,mine with mine.

I believe we can only be friends,not more than that.

I know i wouldn't be able to fulfill any of your wishes.

I dun't really see any us.

Compromise?

Is there a need to?

Let's just keep our distance,hot dude):

_Liyana

2007-08-07T03:02:00.000-07:00

AL-FALAH in collaboration with DARUL ARQAM Presents:
IN - HOUSE TALK

with speaker from USA

IMAM FEISAL ABD RAUF

TOPIC:

ISLAM & THE MUSLIM WORLD : IT'S INTERSECTION WITH THE NON - MUSLIM

Wednesday 15th August 2007

7.30 - 9.30 pm

Synopsis:-

Overcoming the negative perception about Islam.-

Ways to transformed the negative ti postive perceptions.-

Examples of positive images that can be shown to Islam.

ADMISSION IS FREE!HURRY!

* Q&A session at the end*

60 places only, free registration.

Book now!

For registration,

please email: yusri@alfalah.org.sg

_Liythelove(:

2007-08-03T05:38:00.000-07:00

It has been ages since my last update.

Hokaaays,part nie dah bedek urhh(:

Today was no-school-day.

In other words, bangon-super-lambat-day.

But as usual,my sleep was rudely disturbed by my first ever wake up call.

Urhh yeah,somehow, the digits doubled up to 22.

Dang! And i thought mommy was the only one who sleep like a log(:

Went out to lib with PSA.

He was super bored,i know.

I was so into Emath,that he finally complained.

Waited for Shab.

Physco-ed him to ikot us.

'' Ader sorang jer lah kawan i. u tadik kate lapar. u nak makan kaaan..'' -Liy

And,when he saw the whole big group,muke cuak beb.

"Math u fail ke per? Nie bukan sorang u,nie satu kumpulan!'' - PSA

He rushed of to Macdees.

And bloody hell,i met all my favourite girls..

Mat & Red was there.

I met my favourites jambuest girl, Izan.

I din realised how much i missed her until then.

''pegiklah duduk ngan dier. i tak kisah makan sorang2. i know how much u miss your girls''-PSA

And for once,he was super nice(:

Jalan-ed and everything.

Was super tired.

But really,i think ..

Forget it..

Later aye(:

_Liythelove

2007-07-28T05:38:00.000-07:00

I've come to realise that it would never again be the same.

It really has been uber hard for me to accept that fact.

When i know it was just nothing but a big misunderstanding.

And i thought,it would not end,someway or another.

That we gonna stick as one.

Through thick & thin.

Through fat and slim.

I miss those days when people was super envious of us,of how tight we were.

I miss those days when we gilak2 together & do nothing but just bitched around.

With our own version of lalak-ing pontianaks, back-up dancers & the free hug sessions.

& oh,not to forget, those camwhoring sessions.

What joy(:

And,this is how it ends?

This is how i remember my final days in Wrs?

Shucks,it isn't nice at all.

Not one bit of it.

Then,i remembered the times when we used to be so loud.

That's all i had now.

Those loud days.

If i have 1 wish,

i wish we can be back as one.

With that,cheers.

_Liy

2007-07-27T00:15:00.000-07:00

Ever heard of Love Is Cinta?

Almost everyone i know is going gaga over that movie.

What with the 2 most favourite people acting in it.

Bloody hell, i did my own research on Love Is Cinta.

I wanted to see how good it was.

Even Acha's younger sister is playing a role.

And oh, i think i might just dragged my whole family to Jusco to watch it.

Papabear,book tickets earlyearly hokays?

Starring : Irwansyah,Acha Septriasa,Nirina Zubir & Raffi Ahmad

Duration : 140 minutes

Had achieved 4 out of 5 stars by movie critics

Cathay Cineplex Damansara, with a total of 110 seats, 54 seats are left.

Cathay Cineplex Citysquare, wih a total of 152 seats, 95 seats are left.

Cathay Cineplex Prangin Mall, with a total of 120 seats, 83 seats are left.

What the hell,i know!

Kelebihan : Menyentuh dan dramatis

Kelebihan : Tambah pemahaman tentang bagaimana harus mengungkapkan cinta

Kekurangan : Tak mungkin terjadi di dunia nyata

Kekurangan : Cerita terlalu belit dan rumit

Love Is Cinta OST.

Songs like ;

Cinta

Mencintai Cinta

Kehampaan Hati

Kenapa Malu

Kau Yang Sempurna

Tersenyumlah

Percayakah dirimu

Pada kekuatan cinta

Yang memberi kita waktu

Untuk bersama lagi

_Cinta

Cinta tunjukan padaku

Apa yang dapat ku lakukan

Untuk membahagiakanmu

Mesti harusku akhiri

Penantian yang tak bertepi

Ataukah harus ku pergi

_Mencintai Cinta

deras hujan yang turun

aku menangis memeluk bayangmu

derai airmataku membasuh hati

terluka kau tinggalkan aku

_Kehampaan Hati

Ku diam-diam mecintai dirimu

Tertegun aku menatap dirimu

Suasana tak asing

Kurasakan kala kita sedang berdua

Andaiku tahu siapa kau yang sebenarnya

Cinta

_Kenapa Malu

maafkan aku sia-siakan cintamu

menguburmu dalam kesendirian

hinggaku sadari kaulah yang sempurna

yang mampu buatku lebih berarti

_Kau yang Sempurna

Love is Cinta,boleh dikatakan salah satu filem romantis yang dibubuh sedikit mistik.

Meskipun begitu, proses cerita yang ditawarkan,

kelucuan yang dilibatkan serta emosi yang turun naik,amat menghiburkan.

Specially to :

Mr & Mrs Izwan

Mr & Mrs Aliff

Mr & Mrs Raihan

Mr & Mrs Aman

Mr & Mrs Nas

Mr & Mrs Aliff

Go and watch the show! Thank you.

P/s : You,i wanna watch that movie *Hinthint*

_Liyana

2007-07-18T02:47:00.000-07:00

Have you ever thought that you could do something but in the end, you couldnt do it?

Me being me,i trusted you wholly.

Somehow,you ain't telling me everything.

Like really, who do you people take me for?

A fool to be fooled?

Jeez~

Ending everything this Friday.

It's not a matter if we are compatible or not.

The thing is, i was just never there.

I admit, i've changed. For the worst.

I try to be someone who understands them.

But,do they?

I've no longer see them as them.

I've seen them as toys.

I've seen it as a simple mere game.

It's a matter if you win or lose.

If you're fast or not.

I thought you knew.

That i had already back-ed off a long time ago.

Really,do what you want to do.

If you're willing to lose it,then why not?

Serious shits happen.

And,i dun't think it would stop in this near future.

Till i get control of it, then i guess,it continues.

I've change,haven't i?

Look at all the "it's".

It's like as if the things that i talk about doesn't have any feelings.

It's like as if i've just turned cold,somewhere.

And,you're blaming me for it?

Dang~

It just ended.

_Liy

2007-07-17T03:17:00.000-07:00

My bad for not updating lately.

Life has been pretty okay.

It din kill me yet.

Simply surviving on the surface.

I did some serious shit.

I regretted it.

I guess i wanted so bad to prove to him and myself that i dun provide stability only.

But,it just went wrong.

Anything to everything.

And for the record, Fridays are doomsville.

Im tired.

Super tired.

Off to Night Study.

Later.

_yaNa_

2007-07-12T02:28:00.000-07:00

Much had happened lately.

And,worse is yet to come.

Dint say anything.

Pretended that everything was going to be just fine.

But,i was wrong.

After what had happened, i don't think i can afford to have anyone new to take that empty place.

It ended the way i din expect it to be.

What's left to say when everything had happened.

I think it's all unfair but i dun't think you care.

Cheers(:

_Liy

2007-07-03T02:43:00.000-07:00

It was a guh-reat change in talking to all those people.

Just finish chatting w Sha,Nina & fireman.

And as you can truly i am super bored right now.

Had 3 periods of A-maths & it was pure boredom.

Sport's day coming in about 2 days.

Having a girls outing on the Friday,13th.

I simply cannot wait for thaat.

It has been ages since i last went out w my dearest girlfriends.

Not that i dun't see them everyday laah but i just miss spending quality time w them.

Miss D strikes again.

& for once,i reallyreallyreally cannot be bothered.

It seems that she can't stop whatever she's doing now,so what's the point.

& superman,whatever you read here,stays here.

Nina,you know kaaan you will always be my bestest friend ever.

Sha,thanks for everything. If it wasnt for that short paragraph,i wont be lke what i am right now.

With that,moving on,next stop please~

_yaNa_

2007-07-02T03:36:00.000-07:00

Life is hokaaay,i guess.

It's now studies & studies & more studies & mengumpat-ing pasal superman.

I'm doing a great job in keeping unwanted people out from my system.

It's never easy but the pure satisfaction of doing it is super good to be true.

With all those manymanymany supports/encouragements/insults,i got from LTG,friends,classmates,cousins & supermann(future).

I believe i can do it but it's just a matter of time.

Regardless of how sorry those both people can get,it doesn't change anything.

It could not rewind anything.

What's done cannot be undone.

Hennyways,look at the brightside.

I get to go gaga over Fahrin Ahmad once again.

& to that new hothothit gay guy.

& i get to talk alll day long with dearest superman without an inch of tremendous guilt of ever 2timing him.

Cheers singles(:

_yaNa_

2007-06-29T03:14:00.000-07:00

Your news was like a cherry on top of a white cream.

With that,thank you.

2007-06-26T04:45:00.000-07:00

I strongly believe everything happened for a reason,just like our love.

Even if we were'nt meant for each other,i know that you have been the greatest gift of all.

I simply can't put any words to describe what i really am feeling right now.

I believe there isn't a need to, since these are parts & parcels of life.

I finally get to feel what Shab & Sha felt.

It hurts like superduperfuber alot but i cannot do anything to lessen it one bit.

And i'm lost for words,i truly am.

To a friend.

I know you reallyreallyreallyreally like her.

Your eyes shine when you talked about her just now.

I could sense your sincere love towards her when you told me.

I really understand that it's her you want to be with.

Whatever happens, you are not a jerk.

Not now,not tml,not ever.

I accept your decision with an open heart & mind.

It never was really easy but that's life.

Please know this,i am happy when you are happy.

I don't blame you for what had happened.

I believe,everything happend for a reason,just like our love.

Go get her,i'll give you all my blessings.

I wish you all the best in your career as a teacher & a singer.

You DO have a great voice,it's just that you lack self-confidence.

I'm no longer here to support you personally.

But,i'll buy your album when it's out.

Take care of your health.

Drink lotsa water.

Get plenty of rest.

You're not superman. Don't do everything at one time.

Keep up on the great songs you wrote.

The lyrics are simply meaningful.

I wish you all the best in everything you do.

I wish you success in whatever you do.

Don't worry about me.

With that,goodbye.

Mengenangmu-Kerispatih

Takkan pernah habis

air mataku

bila kuingat

tentang dirimu

Mungkin hanya kau yang tahu

mengapa sampai

saat ini

ku masih sendiri

reff:

Adakah di sana

kau rindu padaku

meski kita kini ada di

dunia berbeda

Bila masih mungkin

waktu kuputar

‘kan kutunggu

dirimu

Biarlah kusimpan

sampai nanti aku

‘kan ada di sana

Tenanglah dirimu

dalam kedamaian

Ingatlah cintaku

kau tak terlihat lagi

Namun cintamu

abadi

_yaNa_

2007-06-22T07:47:00.000-07:00

IM BACK!

i'll update more later.

But,when i was at Melake,i saw this drama.. Fahrin Ahmad ader lahh seyy..
You know kaaan how gaga i can get over him(:

''Awak dah janji nak call,tapi tak call.. Saye adelah tunggu awak nak call macam budak bodoh kat dalam ofis.. Siape diri saye dalam hidop awak nie? Penting ke tak saye nie? Kalau saye penting pon,kenape saye rase macam tak bergune? Sesibuk saye maner pon,kalau saye dah berjanji nak call,saye akan tetap call.''- Afiq(Fahrin Ahmad) dalam Cinta Semalam.
HAH!

Biler si Faiz dengar the first line jerr,dier dah kuatkan volume... Ahahaha,tengok semacam(:

Later.

_yaNa_

2007-06-17T22:16:00.000-07:00

If you know what i am doing right now

im super sure you would be super pissed.

Im truly sorry.

I really am.

Hntah lah,i dun't know why i'm doing it.

Maybe to make you jealous.

Or maybe to simply broaden my network of friends.

But,i still lie,didnt i?

Whatever it is,

i just want the old berok back.

_yaNa_

2007-06-17T00:30:00.000-07:00

I just got back from my sleepovers at Nenek's house.

Hokaay,that sounded wrong since 95% of my time was at Haris's crib.

Ahaha,cucu bertuah kaaan aku niee(:

Still,it was super fun & double the joy.

I got to meet the famous gigi & abg azmi & my dearest Dian Natasha.

Ochey,thaat girl kan superduper cute!

& oh,next time i come again,superman, you still owe me 2 songs.

Start practising lah seyy(:

Going to meet my favourite-st people in the world this Wednesday.

Balek kampong laaha,ape lagik kaaan..

That's the trip i can't wait.

I get to spend time w my granddad & simply chill w grandma.

And as for wawan,i can have all the time to laugh with him at his oh so lame jokes.

On a muchmuchmuch heavier note,

i am truly sorry for not picking up any calls or replying late to msges.

Something had cropped up & i had to go to hospital almost every single day.

Apart from that,i have my own issues to think and settle.

It's best if i dun't say much.

With that,cheers

Random : Thank you for everything,sayang.

_yaNa_

2007-06-10T21:46:00.000-07:00

I never felt nothing in the world like this before

Now I'm missing you and I'm wishing you would come back through my door

Why did you have to go?

You could have let me know; so now I'm all alone

Girl you could have stayed but you wouldn't give me a chance

With you not around it's a little bit more than I can stand

And all my tears they keep runnin' down my face

Why did you turn away?

So why does your pride make you run and hide

Are you that afraid of me?

But I know it's a lie what you keep inside

This is not how you want it to be

So baby I will wait for you

Cause I don't know what else I can do

Don't tell me I ran out of time

If it takes the rest of my life

Baby I will wait for you

If you think I'm fine it just ain't true

I really need you in my life

No matter what I have to do

I'll wait for you

Been a long time since you called me

(How could you forget about me)

You gotta be feeling crazy

How can you walk away

(When) Everything stays the same

I just can't do it baby

What will it take to make you come back

Girl I told you what it is and it just ain't like that

Why can't you look at me?

You're still in love with me

Don't leave me crying

Baby why can't we just start all over again

Get it back to the way it was

If you give me a chance I can love you right

But you're telling me it won't be enough

So baby I will wait for you

Cause I don't know what else I can do

Don't tell me I ran out of time

If it takes the rest of my life

Baby I will wait for you

If you think I'm fine it just ain't true

I really need you in my life

No matter what I have to do

I'll wait for you

So why does your pride make you run and hide

Are you that afraid of me?

But I know it's a lie what you're keeping inside

That is not how you want it to be

Baby I will wait for you

If it's the last thing I do

Baby I will wait for you

Cause I don't know what else I can do

Don't tell me I ran out of time

If it takes the rest of my life

Baby I will wait for you

If you think I'm fine it just ain't true

I really need you in my life

No matter what I have to do

I'll wait for you

I'll be waiting...

Random : I guess it's my new hobby.

& with that,you know i love you.

_yaNa_

2007-06-10T10:10:00.000-07:00

It's 2am in the morning & i still cant sleep.

i dunt know what i am gonna type about since i do not have any intention of saying i out loud.

i believe i have been saying much & things had happened for a reason.

Even if i don't have any say in it,i guess i gotta be strong to face certain setbacks in life.

i have never been a good person,what about perfect.

people made mistakes & they forgive each other.

if i did make one,then im super sorry.

but you forcing me to something which dunt like is seriously out of the qn.

i aint complaining but i aint keeping quiet about it too.

you leaving me hanging all by myself is bad enough.

making decisions for me w/o me having a say in it is also bad.

i mean,if you are dead set on your decisions,why even bother asking me?

I think i have done much to compromise with you.

But instead,you get all big headed & you step all over me.

you and your bloody mind set.

you think that i am going to follow your orders.

For once and for all.

Im going to listen to you for the last time.

If by Prelims,my result is still the same.

You can save your crap talk & your breathe.

Because by then,i am dropping it.

I will personally write that letter.

even if it means forging your signature

& by that time comes,

jangan nak harap aku ikot kate2 kau.

You dunt even have a bloody chance in having a say in choosing of polys & courses.

& people,this is one of the reasons why i cant sleep this past few days.

To that someone,thank you!

_yaNa_

2007-06-05T02:46:00.000-07:00

Simply to that one particular makcik,

Hokaaay,i dun't know you,i dun't know your name,i dun't even know you exist.

In other words & in simply english,it means that you do not have any right to meddle up my life.

Which also means,you have no right to go around & gossip about me.

It isn't wrong if you go on & on talking about how cute i am.

Because i know i am super cute(:

& back to the main point,it is super wrong if you go on & on talking bad about me.

Kalau belakang takpe ahh,kau yang tanggung sendiri.

But,since my mum & i get to know about it.

It becomes my business since im your new topic for this month.

Get this straight.

At 1.15pm sharp,i was in Mr Wong's History class,answering SBQ Mock Exam.

I was struggling answering the questions since my answer format was all teraboh.

I was sitting infront of Shab & beside Sha & directly diagonally infront of Ain.

There i was,writing super fast in class 4e5 & there you go starting to open your trap.

I wasn't at block 666,talk about karma please.

I wasn't w a guy.

I wasn't w a guy that has red & golden hair.

Talk about the combination of colors.

I have better taste.

I wasnt w a guy that tattoo-ed his right arms & thighs.

Talk about the combination of tattoos.

I superly have better taste.

I wasn't w a guy that had piercings everywhere.

The lips,the eyebrows,the ears.

I have better taste.

Somehow,you have the ability to notice his piercings & not notice if i was wearing specs or nt?

What the hell,makcik!

& no,i wasn't ''exercising my tongue'' at the staircase.

Eh hello,of all tempats ehs..

Lain kali,kalau aku nak buat,can i borrow your room,makcik?!

Gawd! How low can you get.

Telling lies is one thing.

Telling it to everybody?

Hey,i think i just did get fofular ehs?

Thanks to you lah ehs..

& makcik,please bear in mind,kalau nak tipu,jangan tipu dgn penipu.

Ahaha..

Since when Wrs's nyer uniform colour brown?

Since when i didn't wear specs.?

Ah yer lah,aku nie dah lah tak nampak..

Shouldnt i put on my specs to see clearly on where my tongue is going?

Kirekan trend baru ape exercise lidah tak payah gunekan specs.

Kirekan trend baru per buat SL,dgn mate rabun.

What the hell lah ehs..

And since when,i had short hair?

Ah yer lah,kirekan rambut aku nie cepat tumbuh per..

What the hell!

Seriously,you got the wrong girl.

I dun't go and exercise my tongue when my boy isn't around.

& if i were to do it,which i don't,i don't go & do it w some freakarse guy at 666.

First,the blk number isn't nice.

2nd,the guy is waaaay past my taste.

3rd,i happen to be loyal grlfriend.

With that,i love you berok.

& makcik, the berok isn't the red+golden hair w tattoos everywhere.

My berok happens to be the most level headed nice clean cut guy.

Who is super duper fuber muchmuchmuch too busy to be exercising at 666.

We rather do it infront of you,selenge!

_yaNa_

2007-06-03T23:58:00.000-07:00

To my LTG,

im super sorry for my suckish behaviour just now.

Thank you for just being there for me even if i simply shut my mouth.

Thank you fow caring & showing concern for me.

Thanks girlfriends.

LTG Forever.

To my favourite boy.

I'm the one to blame since i didn't msg-ed you early in the morning.

I mean,how could it slipped my mind.

How can i even forget to msg you when i know fully that i should have done so.

I guess i was too preoccupied chatting w Kiki & forget all about you.

& i have no right to stay mad at you since i know how busy you can get.

What's w the packings & your last minute schedules.

I am very muchmuchmuch sorry for putting all the blame on you.

It's my fault of not sending a simple msg.

I really am super sorry,boy.

& enjoy your holidays even if i didn't get a chance to wish it.

With that, i miss you terribly, and i mean it.

ucapkanlah kasih satu kata yg ku nantikan
sebab ku tak mampu membaca matamu
mendengar bisikmu
nyanyikanlah kasih senandung kata hatimu
sebab ku tak sanggup mengartikan getar ini
sebab ku meragu pada dirimu
reff:
mengapa berat ungkapkan cinta
padahal ia ada
dalam rinai hujan
dalam terang bulan
juga dalam sedu sedan
mengapa sulit mengaku cinta
padahal ia terasa
dalam rindu dendam
hening malam
cinta terasa ada
nyanyikanlah kasih senandung kata hatimu
sebab ku tak sanggup mengartikan getar ini
sebab ku meragu pada dirimu
repeat reff

_yaNa_

2007-06-03T00:58:00.000-07:00

I take back what i say.
I take back what i post.
I'm sorry sayang for not being an understanding girlfriend.
Missing you loads.

_yaNa_

2007-06-02T01:27:00.000-07:00

Went to CWP w Nina yest after doing our usual study thang.

& you know,i've been see-ing alot of SALE lately.

& now,here i am wishing money can simply drop from anywhere.

My mood isn't that guh-reat.

& i think Sha know why.

Hah!

Im getting more ridiculous by the minute.

I nearly had this catfight just because i was staring at her guy.

& Sha would know why.

Is it my fault if i'm like this?

I dun't think so lah seyy.

I shadn't talk much.

If ever you know how much i love you.

I'm sure you won't be treating me this way.

If ever you know how much i miss you.

I'm sure you won't be treating me this way.

If ever you know how much i want to see you again.

I'm sure you won't be treating me this way.

& the thing is,you never know.

Shab: Ahaha... Biler aku gunekan Liy Alep or Liy Bacin or Liy or yaNa, it's all monyet & not berok.. Kalau lahh berok yg reply all the tags,i believe i would be a muchmuchmuch happier grl.

Sha : It is funny,hokaaaays... Talk about drama!(:

& oh grl,good luck!

_yaNa_

2007-05-30T05:08:00.001-07:00

Talk about drama!
Apart from the usual walk to school i had w Nina & the usual usual day in sch, it was a full show drama,without a doubt lah seyy..
I was sitting while doing my notes for SS,the chapter on Venice. Hntah,takde ribut takder ape,she started sniffing,like REAL sniffing.
Hokaay,that time i was like thinking,''jangan dier dah break sudaaah..Not again!''
Then,she started listening to jiweng songs..CONFIRM!
She started like sobbing.. serious sobbing.. Aku dah macam blur sotong.. Since i dun't really know how to console people & i truly believe Shab would agree to that!
Thank god,Nina came at just the right moment. I thought of going back to my studies. Then i think twice about it. THAT WAS WHEN THE DRAMA START(:
Her mum came in & everything. Lecturelecturelecture....
He called or i think she called him.
She keluar jerr, i could hear her screaming her head off. Like seriously.
Dah marah2,then sob,then jerit,then nangis and it goes on.
Aku ngan Nina dah takot,dudok kat dlm bilik dier.
Nina was thinking twice already of bein w him.
I was thinking,''dang~kirekan sekrang musim break-ups ape???'' & i was super scared of being in a relationship..
Lame like supersupersupersuper long..
Then,we hear laughter..
I know,dah drama semacam dengan sekejap jer diorang alright. Hah!
&&&&,they are back together again(:

I talk-ed about it w my dearest favourite boy.
& since he is the most wonderful-est cher,he actually managed to twist & twist & twist it into something WRONG!
Like what the hell,Nina ngan dier dah kekek habis..
Yer lah,dgr2 trend zaman sekrang perr break ups boleh related to kisses!
& hello,i still belom maafkan you hokaaays..
You nak date sangat kaan ngan your dearest books..Hmph!
But,i still love you lah sayang(:

Later.

Penaku menari mencoretkan
Sebuah puisi kelukaan
Gurindam jiwa
Cinta dan airmata
Di kamar hati ini
Masih ada sembunyi
Kenangan yang tak mampu
Ku lemparkan jauh

Penaku menari melakarkan
Gambar kesayuan masa silam
Tinta bersulam biru
Warna kerinduan
Berkaca jernih ingatanku
Biarpun dikau telah jauh
Dari pandanganku

Manisnya pertemuan
Pahitnya perpisahan
Segala kini tidak dapat
Untukku bahasakan
Semua kini kaku
Tiada lagu merdu
Setiap madah baris kata
Bukannya lagi buatmu

Kini berteman sepi
Kini aku sendiri
Suka dan duka
Dalam meniti gelombang
Kembara panjang

Jauh melangkah pergi
Tidak menoleh lagi
Kenangan silamku
Tinggal tertulis kini
Dalam sebuah puisi

Penaku menari membariskan
Puisi sebuah pengalaman
Gurindam jiwa cinta dan airmata
Di kamar sepi ini
Titisan membasahi
Dan aku tidak tahu
Pada siapakah untukku luah rasa

_yaNa_

2007-05-29T03:38:00.000-07:00

2007-05-29T02:23:00.000-07:00

The Mio guy just left..

Talk about their service.. He was just about 21++ yrs old...

& talk on the phone like 85% of MY time..

That was the first reason why i didn't serve him drinks.

His handwriting was like super messy,similar to those of a 2 year old kid.

That was the second reason why i didn't serve him drinks.

He blamed my dad for the poor connections.

That was the final reason why i didn't serve him drinks.

Like,what the hell. If you tak tau nak repair,can just cakap kaaan..

No need make any lame excuses..

Kalau bapak aku punyer pasal lerr pon,asal after pasang Mio jerr terus t-phone rosak?

Asal tak before???

Asal selepas pasang Mio jerr,my girls can't even call me?!

So what if there are free incoming & outgoing calls?

Nak call ape kalau t-phone dah rosak?

Nenek kau?!

-Haktui!-

On a muchmuch more lighter note, i finally had time to simply crap w my grls in 4e3.

Especially,Adilah(:

As people were busy doing their math,we were talking about how hot Hrithik Roshan was..

And speaking oh math,i still haven't completed her work.

Dang~

It was kind of dry,today..

Apart from the usual work given by chers, i had to stand at the back opf the class..

I was super excited,since it was my first time standing up in my whole secondary life.

See how good aku nie???

Thank you & stop w your temperamental thingy.

Isn't good for the baby...

Sat w the usual grls at the last table.

We crap like about everything.

Shab was being maki-ed first thing in the morning.

Latep finally passed the red packet sweets to Nina w/o asking her to pay for it.

& speaking of it, LALA <3

Izan was being sweet and everything,did a video about us & her friends.

Even if it's short,it's the efforts that count.

Babe,you know kan whatever happens,LTG gonna stay together.

& we will always keep in touch lahh.

How can we even forget about you in the first place?

Without you,i dun't know what is Hanucheyn or BKKP or urhh any other horny jokes.

I shall thank you for that since that is one of the reason why i laugh like hell.

Thank you!

Sentimental-s aside.

MT O Level paper was okaay..

I did get to finish both papers..

It was manageable.

I'm super hoping to get an A,& i can finally let go of that subject..

Speaking of subjects,''emak! please go & doa for me okaay.. Doa i pass w A for dt paper''.

Sebab Allah selalu kabulkan doa emaks..

So emak,go start doa-ing for me.

Thak you lahh seyy..

You are the bestest mother i have ever had,the 1st & the last.

Berani bapak kahwin lain,i cincang2 him..

A ring is round,it turns forever,and that's how long we will be together.

Nina came to my house straight after school.

I did my social studies while she did her math ws..

Aku ader lahh semangat punyer kental nak belajar..

Taptiptup,aku toleh & there she was sleeping soundly on my bed.

Mentang2,katil aku sedap ditidur,dier terus jerr condemn.

Tml and the days after that,heading to her house instead.

Why?

What's with the drilling & more drilling & drilling & shriekng & shouting.

Too MUCH noise pollution...

At least kalau kat her house,ader Cahmi jer & oh,her brother who rarely talks.

Who prefer to tercegat infront of me & see what am i doing.

Thats muchmuchmuch better compared to mine.

Hmph!

No matter what,i will wait for you

I dun't really know what's happening.

There's like this cold war.

& i'm like stuck in a middle.

& thanks lah eh,when im ready to start complain & pour everything out,you = MIA.

The final fantasy that thrives in my heart is only you

Should be having a trip w Nina to Bras Basah SOON..

Should be going out w my grls to town SOON..

I am still thinking of ways how to physco my dad this time.

Hope this time,i can get to bring my other half instead of Faiz.

Itu pon,kalau dier free.

Since i promise to be with him a whole day kaan..

But first things first laah..

I shall now brush-en up on my physco skills.

Wish me luck people.

(I know i need it,like alot!)

Cinta ini hanya untuk kau

Speaking of love,the 2 most important people in my life is finally together.

FINALLY,whew!

She is super happy,no doubt about it.

He is busy studing for private O's..

Abg Tam nak challenge yaNa ke per.. Go & siap2 your duit caaan..

yaNa nyer results bagos jerr,abg kene belanje laah ehs..

I reallyreallyreally hope you people last long.

Like super long.

Good luck!

& oh,congrats.

atas nama cinta hati ini tak mungkin terbagi

LiyAlep.

Boy,i miss you like super duper fuber muchmuchmuch.

It's the holidays and you are still busy.

I ain't complaining dude but i seem to miss you alot.

Even if you can't take time off from your work.

Then,i'm seriously waiting for the June 16th.

We're having BBQ thingy kat JB,kaan???

And you're sleeping over,kaaan?

So so so so,i simply can't wait to see you dear.

Like supersupersuper maha super cannot wait punyer..

(;

atas nama cinta kurelakan jalanku merana

Oh,he is getting engaged this June hols.

I wish you all the best.

And please,appreciate her more hokaays..

Despite her asking you to wait for about 2hrs++,she is still your wife-to-be.

Start being nice to her.

Maner tau,dier berubah sikap ke..

She isn't that bad hokaay.

And you know it yourself kaan.

You and your dream girl can never be together.

She is 16 & you,22.

See the age GAAAPPP-

Lagikpon,she's taken.

I'm sure you will be veryveryvery happy with your wife-to-be.

Dude,cheers~

I've crap-ped much.

As a way of signing off, lemme just copy-and-paste this lyrics aye.

Listen to the song & sing along.

Ada paham?

aku wanita yang punya cinta dihati

ada diriku dan dirinya dalam hidupku

mengapa terlambat cintamu t'lah termiliki

sedang diriku dengan dia tak begitu cinta

mengapa yang lain bisa

mendua dengan mudahnya

namun kita terbelenggu

dalam ikatan tanpa cinta

chorus:

atas nama cinta

hati ini tak mungkin terbagi

sampai nanti bila aku mati

cinta ini hanya untuk engkau

atas nama cinta kurelakan jalanku merana

asal engkau akhirnya denganku

ku bersumpah atas nama cinta

_yaNa_

2007-05-27T03:31:00.000-07:00

4 words can sum it all sayang..

i love you,sayang.

i love you,my berok.

i love you,my Alep.

It's more than 4 words kaaan..

So what, i love him lah seyy.. (:

_LiyAlep_

2007-05-23T03:38:00.000-07:00

Pangako Sayo

Noon akala ko

Ang wagas na pag-ibig

Ay sa nobela lang

Matatagpuan

At para bang kay hirap

Na paniwalaan

Ikaw, ikaw pala

Ang hinihintay kong pangarap

Ngayong kapiling ka

At tayo'y isa

Hindi ko hahayaan

Na sa atin ay may hahadlang

Pangako sa 'yoIpaglalaban ko

Sa hirap at ginhawa

Ang ating pag-ibig

Upang 'di magkalayo

Kailan man'pagkat ang tulad mo

Ay minsan lang sa buhay ko...

-I promise to you-Pangako Sayo (English Version)

Before i thought its true

true that lovin was all forever

its just a make believe

cherish endlessly love will be for life

happy ever ending

Yes i stood before the wish tht we made in winter

you'll be the only that will always be

Promise that i will love you more each day

I promise to you that you can count on me

to love and to cherish now & forever

your more than alive to me yes you are

Youll be the only forever to cherish and to love

Yes i stood before the wish tht we made in winter

you'll be the only that will always be

Promise that i will love you more each day

The song is soothing.

It always remind me of him.

I believe everything happens for a reason.

I will be patient as long as it takes,boy.

ilu,sayang.

_yaNa_

P/s: aku dah update 2 times eh izan.. (:

2007-05-23T03:17:00.001-07:00

Just a short entry aye.
There's nothing much apart from MT Intensive & more MT Intensive..
We finally are back on talking terms,i know,like what the hell gituk kaaan..
MT O-level paper is next Mon & i am super nervous about it.
& oh,i seriously do not have any interest in it anymore..
I reallyreallyreally hope that i can get that same interest back.. Ergh!

Remember when i said all i want is you to be back with me.
Remember when you tried to teach me how to play a card game.
Remember when we shared a chicken wing.
Remember when you sweetly asked me to take a cup of drink for you after giving me your special-est smile.
Remember the time when we went to play bowling.
Remember the time when you secretly played with my fingers when mama was present.
Remember the time when i get to meet you on every Friday without fail.

P/s: Izan,aku dah update.. (:

_yaNa_

2007-05-11T20:47:00.000-07:00

P/s: I have nothing better to do,so urhh... (:

1.Honestly what color is your shirt?
''Red + Yellowish ( a weird combination,i know!)
2. Honestly, whats on your mind?
'' It's hard to find it. But when you finally get it, it's super easy to destroy it. (Ironic kaan?)
3. Honestly, what are you doing rightnow?
''Listening to Gal Sun-Jinx ( Dun't ever ask me why.. (: )
4. Honestly, have you ever been inlove ?
''In love? I have no idea.
5. Honestly, have you done something bad today?
''Not yet,i think.
6. Honestly, do you watch disneychannel?
''Urhh,no???
7.Honestly, who is the last person you talked to on the phone?
''My gf,Nina.
8.Honestly, are you jealous of somebody right now?
''Not at the moment. Yesterday,yes!
9. Honestly, what makes you mad most of the time?
''When people take me as a bloody time fool
10. Honestly, do you bite your nails?
''No!
11. Honestly, do you use anyone?
''I truly hope not. If i have unintentionally,then im super duper fuber sorry.
12. Honestly, do you want to see someone this very moment?
''Yeah. ):
13. Honestly, do you have a friend you don't like?
''Nope.
14. Honestly, do you love someone verymuch?
''Ntah.
15. Honestly, does anyone like you?
''I think so.. (:

DIFFERENT EMOTIONS SURVEY
*Anger Section*
1. What do you do when you're mad?
''I block everyone out from my life & keep everything deepdeepdeep inside. (:
2. What's the worst thing you've done when you were mad?
''I threw everything,everywhere..
3. Ever made anyone cry when you were mad?
''No
4. Do you swear when you're mad?
''I'm the most level headed grl,quoted by Sha. What do you think?
5. When was the last time you really cried?
''291006
6. Ever cried yourself to sleep?
''Who doesn't?
7. What usually makes you cry?
''When a reality check hits me.
8. Are you normally a happy person?
''I try to be one.
9. Does being with your friends makesyou happy?
''Of course lah babes..
10. When people say they think you are good looking/pretty, do you get happy?
''Ntah. Does it even matter nowadays?

--

1: Are you single or taken?
''Can i pick both as my answers?
2: Do you love anyone right now andwho is it?
''My lil baby boy,my gfs
3: How much do you know about love?
''I know nothing,that's why i suck in it.
4: Who had hurted you with love before?
''My ex-es i guess?
5: Look around your friends, who doyou think is best to be your boyfriend/girlfriend?
''Ahaha.. That's the $9521832 question ehs???
6: How many ex do you had before?
''4
7: Do you think you will patch back with them if there is a chance?
''I just did,hurh?
8: Do you hate your ex?
''I dun't hate them. I believe everything happens for a reason. & also,the breakups i had with them had me a stronger kid.
9: Do you love your current boyfriend/girlfriend alot?
''Yeah,i do but i dun't think it matters anyway.So let's just skip this qn aye.
10: Have you ever hurt someone with love? Name any 1 of them.
''Yeah,once,i guess when he mistook my intentions.
11: How do you show someone that you love them?
''Being caring & concern,not having doubts & constantly telling him IMU.
12: Are you trying to show your love to anyone?
''I tried.
13: Have you ever almost die in love?
''Nope.
14: In what kind of way is it?
''Did i just say Nope?
15: Do you regretted loving anyone?
''Nope,never did.
16: Which is the most important to you now? Love, Family or Friends?
''Family & friends
17: In 3 more days, if you are gonna to die, what will you do about love?
'' -I will not tell him.
-I will die on my favourite bed w my family & my LTG around me.
18: In 20 years time, will you be married? To who?
''I would be 36 by then. Should be having 10kids w my future hubby. Hehs~
19: What is love to you now?
"I dun't really know.
20: Are you honest to love?
''I am & always will be.

--

P/s: I already told you that i had nothing better to do kaaan...

_yaNa_

cinta sukar untuk dicari
tetapi senang untuk dimusnahkan
cinta oh cinta begitu menyiksaa jasadku ini..
-Unknown-

2007-05-10T01:11:00.000-07:00

Ocheyy...
I did the most random-eeeesssssttttt thang ever!
I change-d my blogskin which is oh so cool kaaann...
And and and and, i simply love this song! (:
Hehs~
I know i know..
Sejak biler pulak aku kemaruk ngan lagu macam ginik kaan..
But,it's super duper sedap hokaaays...

& MYE is over!!!!!
Gawd, i have never feel so overjoyed before..
I shall now stop mugging for a day...
& i shall simply laze around!
Hah,lazy yaNa!
Lazy lazy,tetap keje ader seyy selepas o's..
Caltex,how glamorous NOT.
Whatever lah ehs..
At least itu cashmoneyduitdollarswang masok pocket``

(:

Random : Having grl outing tml. Watching Jangan Pandang Belakang w Nina & making a trip to Swenson. Let's just pamper ourselves,babe! Kate MYE dah habes per.. ahaha..

Random Random : Nai & i are so gonna kill the teachers,burn-t the books & let her die,slowly,painfully.. Hmph!

Random Random Random : I miss you (:

_yaNa_

2007-05-08T00:12:00.000-07:00

In the middle of doing research for my art for tml..Hell,i know!
When i realised something.

It's super easy when you just chucked everything out.
It's easy when you act the way you are right now.
It's super easy when you just do what you do right now.
It's super easy when she isn't part of your life anymore.
It's super super easy when teaching & music are all what you have right now.
See how many ''super'' i used?

Because boy,i am trying my super hard to be super patient.
i am trying my super hard
to not break down infront of everyone.
i am trying my super super super hard
to assure myself that everything will turn out just fine when you are by my side.
But,you aren't.

I think i did my best
in keeping quiet about it.
I think i did my best
in not fretting or complaining it to my grls.
I think i did my best
in not asking you stupid questions like,''What's becoming of us?''
I think i did my best
to be the most patient-est gf ever.
I think i did my best
in being your special grl.
I think i did my best
in keeping it low.
I think i did my super best
in giving you ample time & space to think things through.
I think i did my darndest best
in defending you & telling them that we are going on strong & fine.

It has never been easy on my part.
But,you gotta understand.
I can't be like this for long.
WE can't be like this for long.
It has been 4 days we ain't on talking terms
& it IS driving me nuts.
I'm trying to control myself before everything comes out wrong.

Boy,can't you see that?
I need you now.
When i feel like i just want to drop dead & burn all those formulas & definitions & stupid peribahase & just shoved it into someone's toilet bowl.
When i feel like i ain't have the energy to continue studying.
When i feel like i just want to stop mugging & have REAL rest.
But boy,where are YOU?
I had officially let go of my chemistry paper.
But boy,where are YOU?
I am breaking under pressure.
But boy,where are YOU?
Is it all just in my head that you are disappearing into thin air?
But boy,where are YOU?
Is it all just in my head when names that i utter are either AJ,Sam or Khai?
But boy,where are YOU?
I need you RIGHT now.
Whatever happen to ''i-will-always-be-by-your-side-when-you-are-ready-to-pour-out-your-heart-girl''?

Boy,
Time is one thing.
Loyalty is another thang.
Let's just don't crush what we have right now.

Boy,
I love you.
I love you.
I love you.

_yaNa_

2007-05-06T03:46:00.000-07:00

Sayang,
is it too late to save what we have right now?

_Lynalep_

2007-04-23T05:34:00.000-07:00

Urhh,ohcey,nothing much happened today.
Manymany people tak datang.
Saw her boy for the first time.
Saw him & him again.
Flashback on what had happened,scared,cabot.
Met up w her again,said my byes.
Untied my hair,hoping him & him won't recognised me.
Practically ran home,went inside my room & locked the door.
Literally,inside for about a max of 3 hours.
hah!
im super takot,hokaaay.
Thought of calling up berok,but i think he is super busy kaan.
So,tak jadik.
& now,i am missing him like super duper fuber alot.
He had to make it worse by sending me a message,knowing fully that i cant reply.
But,if he didn't send one,i will be super worried too.
& people,thaat's my day for today.
(:

sayang,
i miss you seyy..
i am too mushy kaan these past few days.
But what the hell..
i better start now than never,
nanti orang tuu cakap i takder pulaks my sentimental side..
i miss you like the manymanymany..
i miss you to the max...
& oh,i keep thinking of you these past few days,darl...
(:

_yaNa_

2007-04-20T07:09:00.001-07:00

Will you ever?

I don't think you will

ever fully understand

how you've touched my life

and made me who I am.

I don't think you could ever know

just how truly special you are

that even on the darkest nights

you are my brightest star.

I don't think you will ever fully comprehend

how you've made my dreams come true

or how you've opened my heart

to love and the wonders it can do.

You've allowed me to experience

something very hard to find

unconditional love that exists

in my body, soul, and mind.

I don't think you could ever feel

all the love I have to give

and I'm sure you'll never realize

you've been my will to live.

You are an amazing person

and without you I don't know where I'd be.

Having you in my life

completes and fulfills every part of me.

-Erica-

& sayang,with that,happy one month anni.! (:

Sorry for my suckish behaviour today,i was indeed too tramautised to talk about it & even to think about it.

Sorry for giving you 1 word answer since i was reallyreallyreally scared..

Sorry for simply nodding & shaking my head instead of answering,since i wasnt in the mood to relive that moment.

But,that's no excuse for me to treat you like that.

With that again,sorry hunns... (:

And berok,i am not letting go of you.

Whatever comes,i am still gonna hold you,dude..

Whatever shats happened,even if im constantly being slapped 24/7,i still won't let go of you...

& oh,miss d, i never really actually break with him. Please take note that there isn't ''yet'' after him. It was just a measley act for you to believe it..

What im trying to say is,i sayang my alep manymanymany & please langkah over my dead body to get him.. hah!

''Nick tanye psl kauu.. dier tanye kau dah attached ke belom..'' - adeq

''ape kau jawab?''-kakak

''aku cakap kau dah taken,tapi dier tak caye. dier ckp he's next..''-adeq

''next?''-kakak

''to be your guy bodoh!''-adeq

''bodoh tu pelan2 sikit! my guy? suro dier tunggu lagik 3 tahon ah siak..''-kakak

''3 tahun jerr??''-adeq

''either that atau tunggu buat selame2 nyer..''-kakak

& yes boy,i am super serious about you.

i wasn't in the first place,really..

but,you were there when i needed you most..

when they were busy having catfights..

even if i dunt reaqlly talk much about it,

even if i dunt complain about anything to you,

your presence made a difference.

With you by my side,i know i will turn out just fine

True,her adeq is much more handsome than you.

but hey,i want you,i need you.

I love you manymanymanymany,hokays sayang..

hehs!

(;

It's just our 1st month.

I dunt know how long it might last.

I dunt know how long you can be mine.

I dunt know how long im yours.

I dunt know how long you can withstand my unreasonable tempers.

Please know,i'm gonna appreciate every single thing you did.

Those ''good morning'' messages of yours which can seriously do some damage to me.. (:

Those ''good night'' messages of yours which can seriously make me go ooh-lah-lah!

Your su-weet smile..

The way your fingers find mine..

Your way of simply caring about me.

You care too much,you know.

Sometimes,im worried for you.

My wish is to be with you.

My wish is to be with you as long as possible.

My wish is to be with you as long as our relationship can lasts.

My wish is to be yours.

My wish is to spend time with you as much as possible.

My wish is to be always be there for you,darling..

P/s : Apart from me wishing super hard to get good o's results.. (:

If you ever read this..

Mohd Aliff Bin Mohd Zaini,

im in love with you,boy.

i love your lame jokes.

i love your smile.

i love your messages.

i love your crappy mode.

i love being with you.

i love spending time with you.

i love talking to you.

i love messaging you.

i love you,sayang.

Miss d, get the point?HAH!

_yaNa_

2007-04-19T02:13:00.000-07:00

Im no longer here. Not using blogspot anymore.

_yaNa_

2007-04-14T23:18:00.000-07:00

Berok,i truly miss you. In times like this,when im facing shats or when my morale is super duper low,i reallyreallyreally need you. Im sorry if my attitude towards you had some sort change. It has never been about you. It seriously isn't. & for the umpteenth time, i really do miss you to the max.. IMU-

_yaNa_

Miss D,

Once again i am repeating the same exact sentence to YOU. The same identical guy who used to be MY guy before you come into my world and the same identical guy whom you loved veryveryvery much is NOT & NEVER a jantan. He is one very good guy who truly appreciates the people around him. Stop referring him as a 'jantan' when everyone knows better that he is one kind soul. I seriously dun't mind if YOU constantly hurl insults & curse me everyday,24/7 but please stop calling him that. I dun't mind if you flood my tagboard with those nonsensical words of yours,i seriously dun't mind. But please,have a heart,stop calling him that. It's a super duper disgrace when YOU like a 'jantan' & NOT a gentleman. & again,i had said it before & i am saying it again. It is over between me & him*. You have got your wish. You have got what you want. You maki me upside down until to an extent whereby people who visits my blog,looks at me differently,talk behind my back,accuse me being a boyfriend stealer when i am NOT one.

If that doesnt satisfy YOU,then i dun't know what would. You have asked me to leave him & i did leave him. Your mission to drive both of us apart is already successful. What i seek from you right now is for you to quietly leave before i take drastic actions. Even if i seem to be veryveryveryvery patient, my patience DO have a limit. I am not a sundal or a bitch or a slut or a whore as you constantly put it. If i were one, i believed i would have taken the matter in a whole new direction where it gets dirtier. Therefore,girl, YOU are no longer needed here. You have got your wish. You have got your guy. But let's face it,whatever makes YOU think that my Alep will be yours?

*Hiatus till 10th May*

2007-04-11T02:44:00.000-07:00

I guess dreams are just meant to be broken.
I remembr-ed the exact same sentence i told him.
''I would do & give anything to see them together.. I would do anything to make her smile & laugh & go super duper hyper totally crazy..I've seen her go gagaga over him & when everything comes to an end,it will hurt me. I know it will hurt me deep..''
It did come true,didn't it?
I cried,didn't i?
Even if i ain't in the picture,even if i never was beside you when you needed your friends most,somehow somewhere, i am very very very sad when you told me..

Reality Check!
It all comes back.
I'm gonna be like her soon..
Maybe not now,but in the near future..
It tears my heart apart when everything nice will come to an end.

Sayang,
even if things dun't work out like what we want to,
you have been the greatest,most caring-est person i have ever met.
even if things go hay-wired,
believe me when i say i had the greatest moments of life when i was with you.
even if things go suckish for the both of us,
believe me when i say i wasn't cheating on you,
believe me when i say i wasn't flirting with other dudes.
even if i have to leave,
i will always treasure the memories we shared.
IMU

On hiatus till further notice.

Yours sincerely,
yaNa

2007-04-05T21:34:00.000-07:00

I now know who are my true-est friends are..
They were super duper concerned after hearing the news & i thank god for having friends like them..
Even if one of them isn't talking to me because of what i did, it just shows that she reallyreallyreally care about me..
They met up just because of me..
He was in the library till 9pm just because of me..
Berok was super duper fuber cuak when he heard the news...
& simply because,they truly-est care about me..
And that, i wanna say i love you people manymanymanymanymany... ;)

Mid years are around the corner & there is simply too much for me to study..
Urhh,teachers do give us the hints hints here & there but still, dah ter-lalu banyak seyy..
& i am so not complaining to berok,since i am super sure berok will start going on & on & on & on defending kaum cikgus..
Bacins!
And and and, my a-math is going down the drain again... Sia2 jer naik 2 grade... Pelap pap tup, fail lagik.. Alermak,sungguh tak best langsung!

Finally, my kupu-kupu aka Aqasha, had finally accepted my request kat friendster.. Huhu!!.. Mentang2 lah dier busyman ehs, sister dier kat sini,dier boleh luper.. ader ke patot dier nak hire aku as his personal tour guide for the day when he comes to Spore???
Banyak cantik lah your muke ehs.. Kalau nak sangat yaNa jadik your guide, kene bayar GST,kene bayar my tips,kene bayar ALL my shopppings,kene bayar all my makan minum for 3 days berturut-turut & kene amek gambar with me manymanymanymany... Amciam???
=)

Putting that aside, my english is becoming worse... Urhh yeah yeah,i know.. In band 1 but still,what the hell.... So yeah, i shall start talking good english with Shab minus the lahs-lohs-lehs & i shall start talking to berok in proper malay since dier is very willing to teach me proper malay.. Ahaha, & berok,when i say proper malay,it really means proper malay & let's just put the homeworks that you have set,aside hokays pokays?.. *winkwink*

& ouh,im super duper scared of the opposite sex..
It sounds weird but i seriously AM scared of them...
Even berok has a hard time convincing me that berok wun't lay a finger on me violently & i will then go,''yeah riiigggghhhhhhhtttt''
Ergh!
Talk about karma...

When i was with you the other day,
i have never felt so secured for so long,
i have never been loved like that for so long.
When you were with me,
i knew i had made the right decision even if im facing shats right now.

Sayang,i truly sayang you manymanymany...

Your going away even if you deny it so.
I wonder, why am i with you in the first place?

_yaNa_

2007-03-29T00:32:00.000-07:00

It's the time of the month when i feel super duper fuber down..
When every little mistakes i made,regardless if it concerns a-math or there isn't any tissues left in my bag or getting cursing & getting the blame from one of your closest sister,can make me cry..
When everywhere i go,i see him*..
When everywhere i go,i heard him*..
When my mind is playing tricks on me again
It's like as if im hallucinating but then,i thought of the otherwise..

Im disappointed when i failed to NOT mix both personal stuff & my studies..
I forgot all the formulas..
I didn't even know how to do the 3M when i myself had succeeded in teaching that to Mat & Fi..
For god's sake, the numbers didn't match. The signs didn't click. The answers seems wrong.
I turned left,saw Mat doing his sums.. I turned right,Sarip doing her sums.
I looked at my own paper.
When i saw the numbers not making sense to me, i realised the better of it & just continue scribbling numbers with negative signs even if i know it's wrong..
Another realisation hit me like a bullet thru my head.
If this goes on, i wun't be able to do ANYthing right..
& heck, it's my o levels we are talking about right now..!

Whatever happened to us,i wonder.
We used to tell each other anything to everything..
There used to be no secrets between us,even if we have our own bestfriends..
We used to click just like that..
We could share secrets & stories & we could just talk all day long..
Whatever happened to that?
Whatever happened to the times when i know i had your back,you had mine?
Whatever happened to the times when we could share secrets like we own the bloody world?
Whatever happened to the time when we joke about the mats & minahs reps international?
Whatever happened to that?

You claimed that we were never your true friends..
How can we be one when all you do is just keep your secrets/problems to yourself?
How can we help you in any ways when all you do is just shut us out from your life?
How can we even be there for you when you rarely talk about it?
When you keep saying,'' nah,takder pape2..''

Girl,we have your best interests..
We want to be there for you when you need us.
We want to share your joys and sorrows & your problems even if we always criticise you..
We want to simply help you ..

You used to be my rapat-est friend before she came along..
Even if i rarely talk to you,which i doubt so..
I still care for you.
It hurts me when he did that to you..
It hurts me when i see you like this..
When all i could see is shats,shats,shats & nothing but shats..

People make mistakes.
This morning's incident..
I know it was a mistake..
Mine,i guess for not being able to answer all your questions..
Mine,i guess for not being able to give satisfactory answers to you..
Mine,i guess for acting dumb when i know parts & pieces of it..
I'm sorry,girl.

If i know you were leaving, I know i would have send you a proper farewell..

_yaNadarlZ_

2007-03-24T22:43:00.000-07:00

Yes people!!!

You see the banner alright...

What does it say??

VOTE FOR TAUFIK

It's been you all along...

2007-03-23T04:50:00.000-07:00

Haven't been updating for a loong time..
Got back my common test result & it isn't up to my standards even if i got 13 as my L1R4.. I believe there's room for more improvement.. =)

~

I realised who my true friends are..
Even if i dun't constantly see them 24/7,i know they will always be there for me despite their own problems.. & i thank THEM for that!
I know they love me & i love them too...
=)

~

After being urhh,alone for a year & 4 months, monyet is finally with berok.. Ahaha...
Monyet shan't say much but monyet believes that being with berok,might do monyet some good..might actually bring back some of monyet's confidence,self-esteem & the old cheery-bubbly-hyper mode..
The only thing that monyet can say is, berok is being greatly miss.... ;)

~

Cher changed the seating plan AGAIN..
& currently stucked with Wilbur..
Thank god,Rahmat is sitting beside me..
It won't be so bad & at leasta,aku ader partner yg same2 blur biler a-math lesson..
Kaan,mat? =)
& i bloody missed sitting beside Dear Xifang & Khalilah!!
Gah-ness,i tell you..

~

Night study will be starting on the upcoming Tues...
& i think kan,my eng is actually becoming terok,when it is supposed to be improving..
Thanks to a teacher !
I think my girls are going too,mainly Nina,Shab,Rogue ,Heera & Sha...
So,i guess,we will start studying like mad,then... :)

~

I know,your intention of telling me was to serve as a reminder,that we are not like before
I know,your intention of telling me was to make me realise how serious the situation is right now.
& i do.
I do realise how serious it is right now.
I do realise after you told me everything.
It makes me sad i can't help to lessen your burden.
All i could do is to save & save & save,thinking that i would give you one day,when i have saved enough.
I tried looking in the newspapers but there's not even 1 suitable job..
It either clashes with my school time or they pay isn't high enough.
I can't be cerewet but what can i possibly achieved with $16 per day,of washing dishes,from 3-10?
I will try to help in any ways i can find.
I can't possibly find it in the nearest possible time but simply,have faith in whatever you do..

& where is berok when monyet needs him most?

_yaNadarlZ_

2007-03-15T17:39:00.000-07:00

It's 8.40 in the morning & i didn't really had a good night sleep due to one's stubborn-ess..
I woke up around 7am & with nothing better to do..
Heading to Lib at 10am,meeting Nina,Shab & Mat.. Intend to complete all my hw by TODAY apart from art...

It actually sucks knowing that it was my fault all the time she was like. I'm the worst person you come for comfort but what the hell, i am sorry for whatever had happened,girl.. I am truly sorry...

Berok & Monyet.
There's nothing much to say since both parties had already agreed to forgive & forget.

=)

Thought of changing to blogdrive but then,the though of losing all my posts would seriously be a dead NO situation..
So,i guess,im gonna stick to blogger until someone has another new bright idea..

;)

Take care,people

_yaNadarlZ_

2007-03-13T00:30:00.000-07:00

I dun't really know what to blog about.
I know i'm in love with Shab.
Ahaha...

See,im staring into space for about 1/2 hour & i still do not know what to blog about.
I did helped my mum the whole morning then watched a movie & i bloddily cried. =)
& now,here i am,sitting infront of my dearest computer with nothing to type about..

I'm having one of those days when i feel empty.
I'm having one of those days when i will actually wait for him to msg-ed me.
But,it isn't literally happening.

Depressed aside, i'm heading to school tml for the art thingy & would soon be heading to Lib on Thurs afternoon. So people, contact straight to my hp aye.. ;)

Thanks to my dearest girl,Shabrina Shari.
Who has been there for me when i needed her most even without knowing the whole thing but just bits & pieces of it.
Who has been giving moral support & pieces of advice when i had encountered shats & shats & nothing but shats
Though, ku tak selalu emo-ed mcm ginik kan girl..
For the record, Shab i LOVE you...
Urhh,she would be super duper happy after reading this... =)

I shall end here then since im super duper fuber sleepy..
Shall catch a few hours of sleeping after staying up quite late last night.

Is this how we end, that i never want to see you again.

_yaNadarlZ_

2007-03-12T02:47:00.000-07:00

urhh,had a loong day today..
went to NYP & i shall not elaborate here.. =)

Finally, after 14 years of living, i WENT to town !!!... =)
With my girlfriends & the 2 hunks,we roamed Orchard Road.. We dropped by to see Rogue & Co before heading off to our next destination-s..Okay urhh, i still didn't get the chance to get all the names right.. Kalau tak salah,we did go to the Paragon yg the toilets were superb COOL, Heerens, Far East Plaza & yang lain sume ku tak ingat.. Sorry!
It was super duper great going out with my girlfriends.. There was nothing but just laughter,laughter & more laughter! Pics would be available at Nai's multiply..

& i might just want to drop by at City Hall with the same people.. *winks winks*

She's in a confused state right now.It had happened 2 years ago but why still talk about it.
Maybe the thing that irked her the most was the fact that both of them had happened to be the 2 closest people on earth at that time.
She is to blame for all the wrong things she had done.
But to the extend of punishing him too?
It's true then.. What he said..
It doesn't make sense at all. It is just a misunderstanding.
But,if it is simply just thaat simple, why can't she then possibly forget everything & act as per normal...?

"Hey girl.. It has been a long time since i last saw you smile.. You hang in there aye..'' - Her

I hardly smile nowadays urhh..Ahaha.. I dun't see the need to smile when all im facing right now is nothing but bullshit & crap. He used to make me smile then but where is he right now? Still not on talking terms,thanks to Liyana!
I simply do not have the energy to smile or to laugh..
I simply do not have the energy to bring myself up to forgive myself.
I simply do not have the energy to bring myself up to face him.

Berok.
I do not miss talking to you..
I do not miss msging you.
& she lied.

I'm sorry for becoming like this.I
'm sorry for not being able to give an explanation when you had demanded one.
I'm sorry but i cannot possibly forget the whole drama just like that.
I'm sorry if i had cursed & screamed at you the other night.
I'm sorry but i can't seemed to msg-ed you these past few days.
I just need to clear my head,for once.
I can't possibly do that when i think of you & her 24/7.
I can't possibly do that when it keeps haunting me every now and then.
I can't possibly do that when it keeps rewinding up in my head every minute.
That's what i see,what i hear.
Every minute in every hour,you & her.
It can bloodily drive me nuts but i shall stay strong & persevere.
It can bloodily make me go crazy but i shall hang in there.

If ever,my actions are hurting you,it hurts me too.
If ever,my words are killing you,it kills me too.
So,dun't ever claimed that i am one selfish brat since you dun't know what hell i am going through.
If ever,i could just rewind back, i know i would delete you from my life since you are too good to be true.

I can't possibly blame you & her.
It just doesn't seem right.
What with him,blaming me for the way things are going right now.
& i thought it was the right thing to do.
I can never do things right,i realised.
It's either i screwed it big time or i screwed it big time.

So,people.
Diss me all you want since it happens to be my f*cking fault that he isn't talking to me,that she is feeling super duper guilty & him blaming me.
As usual, she had screwed things up BIG TIME!

_yaNadarlZ_

2007-03-09T20:25:00.001-08:00

What happen to you
What happen to the time that you said you swear you stay through
Is this how we end
That i never want to see you again
But there comes a time
when i will forgive & forget
I want you to know that i miss you,
I miss you so
I want you to know that i miss you,
I miss you so

If only i can pluck e rainbow down from e sky, i'll fill it with your name n put it back, to let pple know how colourful my life is to have you around. Good night,Lyn.

It saddened me when you,your music & your messages becomes nothing to me.
It angered me when you act so dolly up innocent.
It hurts me when I couldn't simply turn back the time to delete you from my life.
The thing that really makes me sad is when i have no one to blame. Not you & gawd, NOT HER!~

My heart used to skip a beat when i listened to your songs.
I used to smile 24/7 when i received your messages.
I used to wait anxiously for your reply.
I used to just lie down & think about you.

Now,i don't.

Curse or scream at me for raking up the past,for raking up 2 years ago..
Hate me for not treating you fairly.
Kill me for being like this.

My life has enough of it's own screwed moments.
You had to add more to it..
You pulled me down.
You pulled every inch of my self-esteem & my confidence that's left.

& all this while, i dun't know who am i referring to.
I can't bring myself up to blame you & her cuz i know, you both were simply 14 & 18 years old teenagers at that time.
The thing that irked me most was not blaming anyone for causing it to happened.

It's best if we keep a distance between us,dude.
You were great & everything.
But,give me time to fully absorb it.
I wouldn't want to lose a girlfriend & my closest dude.
Sorry if i make things worst.

Then i realised, it was my fault.

_yaNa_

2007-03-05T23:30:00.000-08:00

Sorry for being on hiatus..
Urr, loads to update about but i would just summarise everything that has been happening aye..

My special thanks to Fasha & her dearest friend,Mr Aliff.
I heed your advise babe about the drinking milo & MM session thingy..
Aku ikot yg part minum air milo jerr... Kalau yg MM tuu,tak urhh... =)
& it works.. Simply miracle!
One minute,i was like wincing in pain.. The next minute, ku dah boleh batok 24/7 without feeling any pain.. Thanks again guys!

Common test dah habis..
Results are coming out.
So far,my results have been good..
My expectations came true when it comes to SS & A-Math,which will be tml..
Which means that all my hard work & waking up ultra early at 3am to revise again did not go to waste. Good Job,Liyana!
*Pats Liyana on the back*

=)

I had a marvellous time eating seafood beside the sea.
It was fantastic! 7 thumbs up aye..
Thaat was the only time when i could catch up with my other cousin-s & my youngest but pretty aunt.. Ahaha.. Dier pon cacat same mcm aku.. Welcome to the club,bacin!
After 15 years of living,finally, met my 2nd cousin from KL..
How lame can i get kaan...
Tap tip tup, i know a new person who claims to be my 2nd cousin,which he is..
I had a fun time crapping with him & thank god!, there is at least someone who can laugh at my lame jokes,attempt to even make one joke but failed miserably & someone who simply smile whenever i was with him. So for that, thank you Shoggi, or Aqasha. *Winks winks*
& yeah, we shall continue with our crappiness when we eventually meet again.. Which is, another 15 years time??? Org kapal ngan org darat ader susah sikit nak jumpe kaan.. (;

I dunt really know what's happening between monyet & berok..
It's like as if history is repeating itself.
But whatever happens, i know that monyet would be ready this time round to face any odds when it comes to berok.
Kalau 2 years ago, monyet had no clue on what was & going to happen.
But,alhamdulillah, this time round, monyet, somehow dah dapat agak, all of these doggy loikes will eventually come to an end..
It doesn't hurt thaat deep since monyet tau it will happen, it was just a matter of time..
So people, stop asking,'' How is berok ?''..
Aye...

=)

I dun't really care if you know that i dislike you.
Complain to my dearest cousin all you want but feelings can't be force aye.
I dun't click with the way you are handling your life & other's too.
I dun't quite like the way you say about other people when padehal padehal.
I dun't like the way you used my dad even if he happens to be your own son & my own father.
I know,that i can never click with you.
Not now,not later,not in the future,ever.
I dun't think i have lose someone like you since i already have another someone.
Who showers me with love & care. Not money.
You claimed that money can buy happiness but are you even happy right now after buying all the jewelleries?
I already have my own plan.
I am not staying with you after my o's which ends on the 6 of Nov.
I am heading to Melake where i would stay around a month maybe two.
I am not sure what i intend to do but my decisions are final.
I am staying with those who truly loves me for who I am.
I would be taking my driver's license there & not here.
I would be working there,for awhile i guess, just to be near them.
I have decided on what i want to do during my Nov & Dec holidays.
& not even you,can change my mind.
Dun't try to ever brainwash my dad's mind & i know you will intend to do that.
Seriously, i can't stand the sight of you.
What more, listening to you telling tales about my own flesh & blood.
I am going there.
The least you could do is to shut up.

=)

I met my old friend, Ez, the other day. Boy! He looks super duper smart,with his gelled hair & the ironed shirt he was wearing.
Ahaha...
Got to know he would be furthering his studies to Melbourne after this.
Would be extremely busy for these few months.
Dah maju kawan aku yang lagik satu niie..
Nevertheless, i will always be behind you,supporting you all the way aye.
Jia you!

I haven't been feeling well these past few days.
Very restless,i dun't seem to know why.
& my moods aren't getting any better..
I really hope thaat this illness or whatever it is called will end soon.
I seemed to miss crapping with my girls.

=)

Going for a mass run this coming Thursday.
& for once, all the Sec 3 & 4s will be running together.
Which i am so not looking forward to.
CIP would be on this coming Saturday.
Ahaha..
It sure would be fun with my girls but i think it's a class-class thingy.
But what the hell, masih ader my malay girls comprising of K-twins,Dilah,Sarip,Ain & Atikah. Confirm kecoh-ness,i tell you.
What with Atikah's super duper lame jokes & K-twins's innocence.. =)
Best!

Finally, the girls were starting to talk to each other, mainly the 3 special girls.
Even not thaat much, but hey!, i should be very thankful that they would still want to talk to each other after the big mayhem.
Harap harap,this time round, there won't be any fights that will break out.
Insyallah aye.

Getting along fine with my malay classmates..
Rahmat would always be my A-math partner.
Dilah can also crap & crap with me. Boleh tahan kawan aku tuu..
The K-twins are more approchable..
Atikah with her super duper hyper attitude..
Sarip & her ''powerful'' malay vocab..
Tak ke happening class aku niie...
=)

I've updated a looong entry, so Mat, dun't complain aye..
Atleast aku update,bacin!

_yaNadarlZ_

2007-03-05T05:08:00.000-08:00

Seafood + Seaside = Su-weeeet ~

_yaNadarlZ_

2007-03-01T00:47:00.000-08:00

I am feeling so down,SHATS
!
Common test are done & over with.

3 have officially leave the clique.

My results are getting sulkier.

I am having 12 kids in the future !

On hiatus till further notice.

(She's losing herself)

_yaNadarlZ_

2007-02-26T23:07:00.000-08:00

I simply dun't get her.
He had turn back just for you & that little cute guys of yours..
What did you do in return?
Giving him thaat attitude of yours & NOT treating your own first flesh & blood well?
That's the attitude of mummy-s nowadays urhh???

That has been on my mind since this morning,when i was supposed to be studying for my His & Chem paper.
I dun't even know him directly,like i know him thru Fasha.. Tuu jerr.. Nuthing more..
But,i am seriously somehow affected by his problems.
Dun't ask why,please..
I dun't even know why..
That's what i think about these days..
Him & that little guy of his.
I can't deny thaat the little guy's name is EXTRA fantabulous.
I shouldn't thank her urhh since dier sendiri perangai macam see-ak!
Her dad?
Lagik aku tak nak.. Perangai macam see-al!

Thus, i shall vow to not do anything stupid. If i were to make one stupid mistake because of anything or anyone, i shall be the kindest person on earth to treat everyone including MY first flesh & blood with care,respect & love. MUCH LOVE!

On a lighter note, can i please kill someone by the name of Roy?
I seriously hate him to the max..
Thank god,i dun't see him everyday..
To the one i hate most : Please be specific on telling us,students,on what chapter to study. Dun't EVER again tell OR instruct us to study 2 chapters when all you want to test is simply 1 chapter~

=)

Finally,Berok msg-ed me when i was sitting for my History paper...Ahaha..
He said sorry for not msg-ing & everything & i just realised that he keeps saying sorry for every little small things he did.. Maybe because he dun't want history to repeat itself or whatever shats but seriously, i can simply be rich in a week if he continues to say Sorry & Sorry & Sorry..
But still, i seem to understand his schedule now..
Morning till around 3 or 4,he has to teach..
Then around 6-8,rush2 ajar budaks tuition.
Then,head home with alot of markings to do..
This is one of the reasons why i DUN'T quite like to be a teacher. See how hectic a teacher's life can get in 1 measley loooooong day??

=)

Tml having physics test & surprise,surprise,i am here infront of my dearest computer blogging my time. My brain cells have gone dead with a small d... Im only left with 2 more papers & another 11 sketches to go.. Ergh-ness!
& bloody hell, i just remembered,there's a-math hw & ws to be done..
Bacins kan!

I shall stop typing & get my butt out of this chair..Kwang3..
=)

You came back with a purpose & she knew right there & then that she won't promise you anything.
You came back to mend the bridge between us.
You came back with thaat charming personality of yours.
You & your silly messages,she dun't really know who she adores more..
If ever,your intention was just to make her smile & make everything go alright.
If ever,your intention was just to make her heart skip a beat,or 2.
If ever,your intention was just to make her realise that you cared for her,more as a friend.

What with her friend's approval..
She dun't know if you would stay long,for good.
But,what the hell?!
She appreciate what you did & what you are doing right now.
She really do..
& for once again, thank you my hero,my cute & talented berok..
Thank you for making me smile.
Thank you for making me laugh.
Thank you for simply being there for me..
You might not know but somehow she had reached a point where she starts to say & go, ''Hey.. Guy's ain't thaaat bad urhh''
And berok, i miss you

=)

_yaNadarlZ_

2007-02-26T15:18:00.000-08:00

Hokay pokays, aku seriusly tak leh ang common test!..
Apart from the normal studying & everything, aku TETAP tak leh ang..
I mean, what has O's got to do with common test?
& Puh-leez! stop your to-prepeare-for-your-o's crap!

2 papers in 1 day?!
Freaking,i tell you.
Another 2 papers the next day??!!
Nak kasi budak2 mampos perr...

With Pearl Harbour shit,gawd,i swear i dunt even know what ii was talking about 3.30am today..
Atleast,my chapter 5 is hokay pokays,thanks to Sha but i dunt think it's gonna come out in SEQ..
& ouh yeah, the Reliability thingy.. Whatever happens to NOT doing it?

My SS paper was suck-ish!
Gahness..
What's with teachers giving EXTRA chapter to study when thaat paper only pasal an arsewholic chapter 6?!
i shall debate with berok about this SINCE he is so damn about teachers being everything good & angelics,teaching students... ERGH!

''I'm not telling you the chapters for SEQ since you guys are more matured right now. SO please study for your SS paper''

Kalau kiter students dah mature sangat kan,buat ape pegik skewl.. Buat ape dudok mcm org bodoh depan kau,dgr kau membebel psl Lee Hsien Long kaaan!

Teachers like her makes me go mad..
Dier ingat funfair perr buat kitorang mcm gituk.

BACIN,I TELL YOU!

Shats happened in skewl & i am not going to be involved with anything nor anyone.
Her actions DO make me mad,but not to the extend of not talking to her.
But,when thaat time come,when her actions are beyond my expectations,beyond my limit of patience, i shall vow not to talk to her for a day or 2 days maybe..

It's simply best to forgive & forget as your stubborn-ess will never bring YOU far
*dedicated to berok & Sha & those who are siding them*

P/s: I am bloody too su-weet for this darn world.

=)

_yaNadarlZ_

2007-02-25T00:51:00.000-08:00

Urhh hokay pokays, it IS very hectic.
What with O's & friends & Berok.
It's like as if im on a roller coster ride..
One minute,im laughing my head off.
The next minute,problems came knocking on my door..

=)

Common test,this coming week.
It IS making my brain go extra double speed,i tell you!
Make it triple,please!
With frequents days that ends up till 2 am in the freaking morning.
Thaaaat is major for someone known as Nur Liyana.

=)

I am beginning to smile more often,thanks to Berok,Shab & Nina !
Even when i am stressed up to the max & somehow when i start thinking of him, Berok will always be there to send me silly msg-es.
Nina with thaaat lame stories of her..
Shab & her nonsense but silly & funny way of talking... Like everything will sould funny biler keluar dari mulut dier..
Berok,Nina & Shab, THANK YOU KAYS>

=)

I'm starting to get serious with my studies.
A-math isn't thaat bad but boleh lah tahan teruks ehs..

''That seems to be your standard ans ehs..''- Berok

=)

It's true when you said you were a hero...
You seem to have your ways of making me smile & laugh..
Nevermind the janji-s thaat you mungkiri...
I still like your msg-es,kays berok?

You are a berok.
A cute & talented berok.
I am a monkey.
The cutest one on earth.

=)

P/s : You will always be my hero.. Berok!

Nyet!

=)

_yaNadarlZ_

shab

2007-02-24T22:09:00.000-08:00

i love shab.

no really.

i'm on the phone with her, and i'm telling her that i love her.

oh maan i have to hang up and stop telling her i love her.

i need to study.

thanks to shab, she's making me feel stress!!

thanks to euu eh shaaab..

*hangs up phone*

ok nie shab. hello. n yes yana loves me.

BYE.

we need to study.

and YANA IS IN LOVE WITH SHAB. i mean, who doesn't right?

2007-02-19T21:01:00.000-08:00

Just came back from my so-called ''JB Holiday''...
Apart from studying, i met my grandparents from Melake & thaat is a total joy~..

''You are studying during holidays?? Do you even know the meaning of hols? You should take a break!'' - Him**

Kwang3...
Reached home around 9.45pm.
Msg-ed Nina..
& surprise surprise, sumbody & sumbody misses me..
=)

& ouh yeah,include another sumbody.!

Woke up quite early.
Read the msg.
Thaat someone was still in bed,mind you..
Mentang2 holidays,nak lepak abis tuu cikgu..
As usual,thaat someone never fail to make me smile when msg-ing him..
He tried to be cheeky,really cheeky.
Ahaha..
I told him off..
(Belum mandi,belum ape,nak start gatal. GILER~)

But,his giler-ness make me smile.. So,teacher, THANK YOU!

Signing off,
yaNadarlZ_

2007-02-16T03:31:00.000-08:00

I had spent my Friday with my loved ones. *winkies*
Had to wait for Nina & Izan as usual..
Met Shab at B&S.
Singgah-ing Lib for a while.
Saw Rogue & Ryan kat tingkat atas.
Headed to BK.
To wait for thaat person.
Waited around 15 mins or so.
Tummies were drumming.
Thaat someone appeared.
I was shocked.
Like REALLY shocked.
Err, you should see the way he had dressed as a tutor.
Dier ajar budak math ke dier ajar budak tuu main guitar?
Hakim reached.
Simple kiss being shared by thaat su-weet couple.
Then,off to Horizon where i shared this little joke with that someone. =)
Met Iylia,girls flirted with him while thaat person shook his head after see-ing our gelagats.
Eat,joke,laugh,eat,joke,laugh.
Thaat someone was like literally laughing his ass out layan kan kerenah kawan2 aku.
He might be malu to be with us.
But,the next minute,dier join ketawe jugaks.
Straight off to TimeZone where my girls wanna play..
Nina & Izan,''suweet ehs diorang'' =)
Watched them play motor,soccer & basketball.
Didnt get to see shab joget.
Next time kays hunns?
Thaat someone had to go.
We said our goodbyes & took neoprints.
Shab soon left.
Saw the couple.
Izan,Nina & Me were very cemburu.
DUnt blardy ask why lah ehss..

ii had fun going out with you.
though,we didnt talk much due to certain reasons.
i'm happy that you are there to see me really smile & laugh.
though,we didnt talk much.
i could sense you being so protective of me when you had requested me to go see doctor.
you were mad,i could see.
you were pissed off with thaat particular someone who had somehow twisted my arm.
But what the hell, if that is the only way for me to really know that you truly care,then i dunt mind.

p/s: she likes the way how his hands usually find his ways to reach hers...

=)

& she is one happy fool...

_yaNadarlZ_

2007-02-13T03:08:00.000-08:00

Seriusly lah ehs, if i was/were supposed to be cheap,claimed by YOU, i would have seriusly give in to all your ''u,naik motor ii..'' & ''u dudok kat peha i pon baik u..tak kotor''

If i was/were supposed to be cheap,claimed by YOU,i would have seriusly kissed you right there and then when you had hold MY wrist againsts the far*ing wall

If i was/were supposed to be cheap,claimed by YOU, i would have seriusly sit down with you & let YOU teach me the MM sessions..

WHAT THE HELL?!!

JUST GO ROT YOURSELF IN HELL WILL YA...

aku dah phobia naik motor,pegang motor,DUDOK ATAS motor, THATS MY BLOODY BUSINESS.
its not for you to sindir & perli & make fun of it while trying to call him** to listen..
To listen what?
You kissing me?!
Over my DEAD body,i tell you..
I repeat again, OVER MY DEAD BODY!.

& if your intention has and always been all along of doing something naughty,go find some other bitches who charges FREE for you..

im dissing YOU right not & then.

YOU aren't worth my time & you ARE certainly NOT worth being my friend.

GO FA*K YOURSELF,BASTARD!

_yaNadarlZ_

2007-02-12T05:01:00.000-08:00

i dunt really know what happened.
One minute,she was using nina's phone to talk to him.
the next min, she dashed out of the cubicle in tears.
Hokay pokays, THAAT was freaking me out.

Ku kejar dier,talked to her inside 4e4 when she finally told me the truth.

Aku dah macam, ''nie macam cerite hindustan... like i heard this story somewhere somehow before..WHAT THE HELL!''

Then,dier dah bilang the whole story..
Aku dah macam shocked giler. & when i say shocked giler, i mean realie realie realie shocked giler.
It took me off the ground, i was in a complete daze.

i was still like,'' urhh,did THAAT happened?. or isit just one of her joke of the day??''

i went back to my class, termangu-mangu.
Diana asked me if she was okay, if i was okay.

my ans to most of her questions were,'' urhh..dier ehs?..ntah ehs..urhh...kite nga bobal psl sape nie?..urhhs,ntah ehs..''

When doing my summary was the time when IT finally sinks into my head,brain & whatever that comes with it lah ehs..

Like what the hell...
That's guys new part time jobs kan..???
Sakit kan hati pompan,buat pompan nangis???
Takder keje haram lain kan nak buat..

Thanks to you lah ehs,im having 2nd thoughts of going out with him this Wed..

For once, Liyana cursed, ''FARK YOU!''

_yaNadarlZ_

Screwed!

2007-02-09T07:26:00.000-08:00

What really happen to us being friends?
I thought we had everything going well.
We end each other's sentence,we joke about dumb & lame stuff, we talked & gossiped about all the Maribs & Minaribs. I thought we were close friends, i thought you were nothing more than a close friend, a big brother whom i long known.

L I Y A N A says:
sejak biler sukekan yaNa?
BinTANG DI syURGA says:
sejak dulu tym kite bual2 mesre
L I Y A N A says:
asal sekrang baru nak bilang yaNa
BinTANG DI syURGA says:
sebab sejak tu kite lost den i simpan diri i la

You proved me wrong. You gave me quite a shocked.
I wasn't a pro in these matter..I thought you had the wrong person. I was having no experience handling these matters when it comes to guys that are not in express class or from Millenia Intstitute.

L I Y A N A says:
You salah orang kan?.. You wanted to speak to Fasha kan.. Not me?
BinTANG DI syURGA says:
u giler ke? Sape pulak fasha nie?. I nak bobal ngan u. Liyana. Bukan Fasha.
L I Y A N A says:
Are you serious? I am Liyana or yaNa . Not Fasha or Shaz.
BinTANG DI syURGA says:
A'ah lah u nie.. i nak cakap ngan u bukan dgn fasha atau sha atau shaz atau sape2 lah.

You were so persistent,insisting that you like me.
But,aren't guys suppose to act like that?
Aren't they supposed to act as the macho-loving-man this minute & the villian the next minute?
My defences were low & you had the bloody advantage.
Thank god that you didn't properly sound-ed me because i wouldn't wanna think of the what-might-happen.

http://www.friendster.com/user.php?uid=27851026

http://www.friendster.com/user.php?uid=11777751

http://www.friendster.com/user.php?uid=8541797

I had requested you to look at all 3 profiles, hoping that you would suddenly changed your mind and go,''Kawan u pon alright jugak ehs. I tak jadik ah sukekan u..Sorry for the mix up..''
But,you refused to change you beliefs & you still held on to your views of liking me dearly.

You never had any intention to drop that topic.
All you keep doing, was confessing your feelings..
If there is a Best Male Actor, i am so sure i would give it to you.

You wanted to meet me.
I made up 101 excuses NOT to meet you.
''I couldn't get out of the North Zone''
''I have a curfew''
''My class will be ending late for ALL DAYS''
''I will be too tired to go anywhere else''
''I have alot of homework to do''
''I have tuition to go to to''
''I have plans on that particular day''
But,all your reply was, ''Takpe, i boleh tunggu. Jangan nak dalih-dalih. I tetap nak jumpe u. Kalau Mon tak boleh,Tue. Tue tak boleh,Wed & seterusnyer.

You knew ii was going Library on Tuesday since i had told you earlier,before you telling me all these stuff.

BinTANG DI syURGA says:
ok i amek u ar
L I Y A N A says:
hah?!
L I Y A N A says:
nak amek yaNa naik aper?
BinTANG DI syURGA says:
moto
BinTANG DI syURGA says:
ar
BinTANG DI syURGA says:
i ajak u rounding2
BinTANG DI syURGA says:
nak tak ?
BinTANG DI syURGA says:
u tgl blk aner k?
L I Y A N A says:
Erm.
L I Y A N A says:
yaNa seriusly tak boleh naik motor.
L I Y A N A says:
yaNa ader ..
L I Y A N A says:
erm..
BinTANG DI syURGA says:
u ader aper ?
BinTANG DI syURGA says:
blang ar
L I Y A N A says:
yaNa phobia lah naik motor.
BinTANG DI syURGA says:
ok
BinTANG DI syURGA says:
u tgl blk aner?
L I Y A N A says:
666
BinTANG DI syURGA says:
dkt ngan mrt kan
L I Y A N A says:
cam maner tau?
BinTANG DI syURGA says:
i tgk map ni
L I Y A N A says:
ahahaha...

When i give more lame excuses, you started to say,''Jangan main2. I akan tetap pegik saner ngan motor i...
Once & for all, i am meeting you. But,that's it. Both you & I have different commitments.
The only reason why i actually agreed to meet you was because;

(quoted by Faiz)
''Jumpe jerr lah. Kau anggap dier sebagai kawan. for what to worry,for what to kecoh2. Lagikpon,korang jumpe kat Library kan... Public place per tuu tempat. confirm kecoh ngan budak2 keciq''

Why i'm typing this?
My life would be a blissed if i change him to 2FILA.

=)

_yaNadarlZ_

2007-02-09T02:07:00.000-08:00

My girlfriend just came back today from OBS.
What joy we had when she,herself, came down to meet us.
Kwang3...
I <3 my girls very the alot.

HEHS~

My day wasn't that good.
Make it a big capital G.

'' i dunt think so. its more sbb lyn tau yg lyn tk leh buat pape 2 stop deco frm going.. dt makes u angry. Nt at urself bt at god.. And u noe dat is wrong'' - 2FILA

For once, after 3 months ++,then i finally realised that was the truth.
I'm screwed,i know!

''Haiz.. I knew u were gonna say dt.. Tapi lyn u ckp ngan i,hw can i help you?'' -2FILA

I badly wanted to say,to call,to msg, '' ii want you to come down right now. i want you to be with me. i need to let everything out.

But,you guys kenal aku.
A girl,called, Nur Liyana,is too chickened to say so.

Thank you!

_yaNadarlZ_

2007-02-04T23:20:00.000-08:00

Nina tak dtg - sick
Eezan left us - OBS
Heera tak dtg - Sakit. Most probably SAKIT.

Went home with Shab & Shaz. We had found a new job. I can't tell you much but ''you masukkan $1,you dapat around $1.70 EXTRA...''
Canggih tak???.. 1 day,you get around $1.70. 1 month,around $51... Boleh beli 2 top-up cards.. OR,boleh korang sume belanje kiter 3 makan kat KFC,Macs ke or even BK..
Cantik betuii plan aku niie...

Gonna be missing iizan for this whole week.
& ouh yeah,Mas & Katy too..
itu pon KALAU diorang pegiik urhh...

But,yang aku tau sekarang,Prefects sekarang dah lagik senyap..Tak sekecoh biler ader sec 3..
( Pats Liyana on the back*) =)

I thank god for not being so sensitive or emotional when you came back;
I praised my self for not being so hard on myself when you leave me all over again;
I'm proud of myself when i know i was never in the wrong;
I aint blaming you,but who else is there to be blamed;

I miss you;
I like you;
I want you;
It's a request,a plea & a demand.

_yaNadarlZ_

2007-02-03T22:21:00.000-08:00

''Liyana urhh..? Can i call you Lyn instead?'' - Ezzati
"No..No..No.. Tak sedap panggil Lyn..Org yang tak tentu pasal jer yang panggil Lyn''- Me ( while giving the most lame-st smile)

Went to my dad's reunion BBQ party at East Coast.
Met a new friend. A new girl in my life. Her adeq was cute. =)
Bobal-bobal,i found out that she too will be sitting for her o's this year..
We had to play the Tug -of - War game ..
I won !!.. As in,my group WON!..
Punyer lerr happy..

I sat on top of the rocks.. Nearest to the sea. It was refreshing. I DID cleared up my mind for once,just sitting there,think nothing of o levels. think nuthing of him*. Absolutely nuthing.
Duduk-duduk,buang mase,dengar MP3.. Just doing nothing for once.

Went to Nina's Bday Party pulaks. Reached there quite late,thanks to someone who bloody-ly refused to go. Alhamdullilah,sampai jugak aku kat saner.
Didnt had a long talk with Nina.
She was kinda busy.
Saw Cicak,Ilah,Ifah & Cahmi.
Pon nampak Nenek & Mama..
& my girls,Rahmat & Co...

Lepak2,mama bobal ngan ibu.. Chinese friends came.
KECOH when parents started to sound the anak-anaks..
Lagi2 ngan Fasha's mum..
Hohoho..
My dad was superbly shocked when he saw the kecoh-ness..

"Fasha nyer side,selalu kecoh ke?"-Dad (with THAT look on his face)
"A'ah. Asal?"- Me ( trying hard to look so iinocent.Eksyen tak tau pulaks aku niie. HEHS)

"Kak, dier tu boleh tahan ehs.." - FAIZ
"A'ah lah... Tengok ah tu sapernyer adeq kan.. - ME
"Muke pon ader. tapi,kurus dok.. - FAIZ
" Tu yang buat kakak cair tuu.. - ME
''Dier masih single tak? -FAIZ
" Ntah ehs,dengar2, dier nga tackle orang. Apehal? - ME
"Ingatkan nak tackle.. - FAIZ
"Kau nak tackle si Zabuza buat aper siak?!!! - ME
"Hurh? Zabuza..? BUKANLAH!.. Adeq Nina yang 3rd tuu.. Ilah..- FAIZ
"Kirekan,all this while,daripade tadi,we have been talking about 2 diferent people..?- ME
"Kakak nga bobal pasal saper? - FAIZ
"Zabuza lah.. Kau bobal psl Ilah.- ME
" TERROR ! - FAIZ

Ahaha.. So,people,next time..Use names when nak start convo.. =)

" So,kau celebrate tak?" - Rai
"Celebrate aper? Birthday,aku celebrate.." - Me
"Bukan bday lah. Valentine's Day" - Rai
" Erm.. Tak lah.. Not my forte. - Me
"Not my forte konon. Takkan si ffila tu tak buat ape2..? - Rai
"Camner kau boleh tau siak?! - Me
"Your messages." - Rai
"You read my messages?! - Me.
"Yeah" - Rai.

Thanks alot ehs! & i stoopidly thought i was exclusively entitled to privacy.
Shuck-ness!

I won't lose anything just by saying this 3 words.
I miss you.

_yaNadarlZ_

2007-02-02T05:38:00.000-08:00

1st of all,i had to use the new blogger..
I know,of all things kan,WHAT THE HELL?!!!

My day didnt start out well..
Actually it diidnt start out well since the night before yest..

Superman : Kepale p*ki u ah ehs, u ingat u maner nyer f*ck besar.! C*ba* ah u.. u dah mainkan perasaan ii.. Go & f*ck urself ah minah. B*bi . S*al. Mother F*cker ( & the list actually goes on.. New words like p*ki paki c*tot...)

Me : You dah habis maki ke?

Superman : Nie sume pasal budak relief teacher tu kan.
( & before he goes on cursing him*,i had interrupted.)

Me : Jangan nak start maki hamun dier ehs. He has got nothing to do with us. Leave him out of this & i mean it.

Superman : Stop defending HIM!. yaNa bobal macam dier nak yaNa jer... Go f*ck himself!

Double Ouchchchchchchchch WITH a capital "O"

( Thus, those cursings ended my night. )

Morning,
cursed by my own bestie.
But,not entirely her fault.
I mean,if she was in eezan's & mine places,i believed she would do the same thing.
But to the extent of getting a free cursing,MAJOR sey..

Went to do the final touches of her** prezzie..
Tough sia,if she dunt appreciate it...
One word = W-A-S-T-E-D ~

i defended you yet you are nowhere to be found. Thanks alot!

_yaNadarlZ_

2007-01-31T01:11:00.000-08:00

Janjiku

2007-01-31T01:01:00.000-08:00

Janjiku -- SOFAZ

Berulang kali ku mencuba memujuk dirimu cuba menjernihkan…
Pertelingkahan antara kita berdua…
Kau hilang dan terus membisu beginikah cara kau menghukum aku…
Atas kesilapanku menduakan dirimu…
Maafkan aku…

Tak terlintas difikiranku melukai kamu permainkan cinta
Yang telah kau berikan sepenuhnya padaku..
Tiada dua atau tiga pengganti dirimu pada kau yang satu
Ku abadikan cinta selamanya
Hanya padamu kekasihku…

Bukakanlah pintu hatimu
Izinkan aku kembali padamu…
Ku sesalkan perbuatan ku ini
Tak akan berulang lagi ku janji…
Terimalah ku kembali kasih…

Biarpun ribut melanda namun tetap aku berdiri menunggu
Agar terbukti janjiku padamu…
Tidakkah terdetik hatimu untuk memaafkan kesalahan aku
Berikan peluang sekali lagi…
Hanya ku pinta…

Bukakanlah pintu hatimu
Izinkan aku kembali padamu…
Ku sesalkan perbuatan ku ini
Tak akan berulang lagi ku janji

(Bukakanlah pintu hatimu
Izinkan aku kembali padamu…
Ku sesalkan)
Bukakanlah pintu hatimu
Izinkan aku kembali padamu…
Ku sesalkan perbuatan ku ini
Tak akan berulang lagi ku janji…
Terimalah ku kembali kasih…

------

Very meaningful for me. It relates to what he* might be feeling now. I tried to be not so hard and ego at times,but that really matters when he* deserves it or not.
I believe in giving people another chance,since people tend to make mistakes.
I try not to hate people.
I try not to despise people.
I try to dislike people.
Don't they mean all the same thing.?

There,you go again.
It's happening once more.
You and your disappearing acts.
And you claimed your feelings had never changed.
So,where were you when i had missed you most.
When i need a listening ear.

Ouh yeah.
I forgot.
You have classes to teach.You have tuitions to give.
But,dun't you ever think of her* for awhile.
Just a teeny meeny minute.

No?
I have expected it too.
A fool,an idiotic fool,that's her*
Who still believes that there might be something to save,in the end.

_yaNadarlZ_

2007-01-30T04:45:00.000-08:00

You came back with a purpose.
I wasn't promising anything,then.

You came back with high hopes.
I wasn't sure then.

You came back with those charm of yours.
I didn't know if it was for real,then.

But,now i know.
I miss you,when you aren't msg-ing me.
I hate you,when you say,''ok'' to when i had expected more.
I love it,when you speak in malay.

''Asal,bahase melayu i mempesonakan ke?''

But,now i know.
You are my one and only special friend.
Whom i can relate to anytime i want.
How childish & uptight i can get when you had supported the Msians,you still give up and simply say,''Lyn,you menang!''
How nonsense a girl called Liyana can get,you still layan and waste your sms-es on me.

You were sorry for what you had done to me in the past.
You regret what you had done to me.
I have already long lost forgiven you.
But,i wasn't ready to accept you as a mere friend or even a special friend,then.

To: A relief teacher who is curently waiting for his results who also happens to be my dad's friend's son

I like you.

From: A girl who wasn't appreciative enough to accept you once more in her life.

I have said my piece,why not you?

After o's you said, then after o's it shall be.

Amen~

_yaNadarlZ_