A major unexpected thiing had happened.. & for the first time in my teenage liife, ii DID not prayed for iit to happen..
He came back wiith a purpose to start all over agaiin.. Beats me,after what had happened,after being single for 1 year 3 months 18 days & still counting,after seeiing the cause and effects of the mega relationshiop of Nasir & Fasha,after seeiing the common fiights and common give & take between Shab & Hakim, ii dunt know then AND now iif ii will ever agaiin to accept hiim back into my life.
Call me selfish or beiing ego but when it comes to matter like thiis, ii know ii have the BLOODY riight to make iit the way ii want.
Hiim sayiing ''ii know ii used to be a freaking jerk or a playboy'' IS nothiing compared to the paiin ii had to endured beiing wiith hiim TWIICE.
And iif ii giive iin to his game now, thiis would be my THIRD tiime beiing wiith hiim.
Gawd! It doesnt sound riight, it doesnt sound even nice!!
At the same time, if i keep following my head, where would be the tiime when ii fiinally get to listen to my mournful heart..?
When im 79 years old,the time when ii had predicted Fasha will die?
Or when ii am 15.5 years old.the time when ii am sitting for my o levels?
Or when ii am 65 years old, the time when ii had predicted my own death?
ii lurve to siimply say, ''FARK YOU!''
or maybe, ''GET LOST!''
''GOT TO HELL!'',seems niice
But,me beiing me, what diid ii do???
ii FREAKIINGLY saiid, ''ii take back what ii said. i dunt mind starting all over again''
Maybe due to the pressure ii had from Fasha & the constant ''Why you cannot accept him?'' question from Shab,Fasha,Nina,Heera & Xifang.
Or maybe due to the guilty-ness ii have deep in me from last niight..
From the tiime when he saiid, ''will you be with me...again?''
ii diidnt know ii was a malibu barbie doll then, but ii know now..
Take me iif you want master. Throw me if you dont.Get the idea of how ii am feeling right now>?
Yes!
Bullshit & guilty
Bull shit?
Since i have been with him twice & ii still aint strong enough to say ''NO!''
Guilty?
He had attempted to speak in Malay,realised his wrong doings & said sorry..
Its true urh when people say Sorry seems to be the hardest word..
So,seriusly, i did a freaking ass mistake, i said sorry & everything would be back to normal.?
Lets say if i kill Hakim & Nasir in advance..
II will say SORRY to Shab & Fasha and EVERYTHING would be back to normal?
Wont ii have like a death sentence or whatever shit?
Thus,it implies to my case,right here & right now..
Said SORRY and be his ghurll???
Fat chance dude..
ii maiinly said ''ii dunt mind starting all over again'' because you happen to be my dad's fren's son & you happen to be the one whom ii consult to after the tragic loss of my special someone.
And again, i am stating out loud, i AM still saying no.. Dunt blardy ask me why.. You know the answer Mr & ii will expect you do something about it..
Apart from that,so long dude or whatever ii should call you~
*He came back wiith a purpose & ii aiint promising you anything*
Cuz seriusly,ii have blardy-ly set my eyes on this one human whom ii treasure the most
FARK YOU-
_yaNadarlZ_
