It's a a full 3 months that he had left me.
I have stop crying for him but ter-menungs and staring into empty space is what i usually do now.
Sometimes,i will just think of him or i might just remember the times i shared with him,the happy and the bad ones. the time when i teman kan him at ICU and just watching Hi-5 with him at 3am in the morning. The thought of leaving him by hiself at that time was way scary for me. What with all those coloured tubes,18 of them,attached to his body & those nurses yg KADANG2 jenguk dier.. Tak payah suah... So yeah,i teman-ing him during the night & day.. He would merengek demanding me to carry him around even if that was not allowed by Doctor Chan but most of the time,he was
my bestest boy now & forever..
It's a full 3 months that he had left me.
And not even a day had passed have ii not forgotten him one bit.
I have stop blaming myself for his death,more to like a lesson for me. A real life lesson for me. Where i will always remember that it wasnt my fault in the first place even if someone used to always blame me for everything bad that had happened. I shall not kutuk him because i know he was anxious and worried at that particular moment of time.
It's a full 3 months that he had left me.
Seeing Syahmi playing playstation or whatever you call it in his abg's room,will always make me think of you,manje.
Ahaha.. I could still remember the time when you main playstation while singing along to the Eminem song.. Since then,i will rewind THAT song,every day. Just for you,baby~
Who do i rewind it for,now,after you left me baby boy?
Shuck-ness..
I can put up my courageous self till today,till 290107, but to the extent of hearing my own flesh and blood,around your age,OUR cousin suffering the same fate like yours !
Gah-ness..
It broke her apart.
She could not withstand the pain.
She could not do anything but to only watch.
Oh god! Make me critically sick for all i care but please dun't touch them,my little baby boys.
For god's sake people,stop with the,''pasti ade hikmah sebalik kejadian ini.''
im tired of that crap.
till today,ii cant see nor feel any hikmah-s behind his death..
And it all tumble into another tragic story.
Him,with tumour?????
So,do i keep all of my feelings inside or do i tell them to anyone?
But,who??
_yaNadarlZ_
