iits a new year yet iit still feels the same for me.. ii have alot of thiings to say,a miilliion photos to be captured wiith uu,more jokes to be shared wiih you & ii still lurve to kejar2 uu whenever ii am free of homework...iit feels just iits liike yesterday uu were still wiith miie,laughing whiile ii was tiickliing uu iinfront of the tv..iits liike yesterday when ii carried u & cuddled uu & uu giiviing me wet kissess.. ii seem to hate iit but oh boy! do ii miss ur wet kisses riight now..Remember when ii used to eat ur meal when ii was supposed to be feediing you..& what diid uu do in return.. uu actually took the whole bowl & dropped iit.. ii was iin the greatest shiit of all siince mumsiie had just mopped the floor... Thanks to you,ii had to re-mop the whole floor..Remember when ii bought uu a golf set,wiith a purpose in my miind to let uu play wiith the small coloured balls.. you triied ''scoriing'' them but not even a SINGLE ball came iinto the ready-made hole...since ur tiired of hittiing iit wiithout actually scoriing..uu hiit me instead.. iit was very hurtfu; but ii diidnt know then that ii would miissed beiing hiit by you...Remember when uu were very siick...ii was orn between choiices..iits eiiher ii diid my homeworks as EOY was comiing or ii played wiih you... What diid ii do? ii did the both of them,together at the same time.. ii diid my homewerk beside u while takiing care of uu.. When uu start merengek,protestiing that ii diid too mch homewerk iin ur style.. ii stopped doiing and played wiith you..ii played golf wiith you..ii tiickled you at you tummy..ii sang ''eensy weensy spiider'' and uu wud always say at the end of the song ''the sun die''.. Ahhahaha..Remember when uu were always iin the hospiital...Duriing the June Holiidays..ii would always,eeveryday,reached KKH at 8am sharp.. ii will secretly briing you chocolates..sweets...sweet driinks...french friies.. ii would played wiith you all the tiime when ii was there..we took a piicture,when ii hugged uu..uu were weariing the hosp uniform & ii was sindir-ing uu sayiing out loud,''ehks,buroknyer baju diier...'' the nurses on duty & even uu laughed out loud... Gawd! that was the bestest day of my liife... =)Remeber when uu were once iin ICU..ii was there to stay overniight wiith mumsiie..ii slept t about 2hrs max...then ater miidniiht,ii would accompany uu besiide ur bed..carryiing uu when uu were uncomfortable wiith ur 15 coloured tubes attached to ur body... we watched Barney to hi-5 to SPD to power rangers to Tom & Jerry... ii olways talked to uu cuz ii believed uu could listen to what was ii sayiing..Remember when ii olways bought uu VCD-s.. And ALOT of iit.. uu would rewind n played iit...rewind n played iit...rewind n played it.. ii was goiing mad,balliistiic.. But agaiin,ii diidnt noe then that ii would miss someone doing that to my VCD player until iit iis spoiled..Remember when uu used to bongkar all mumsiie nyer barang masak..and uu go bang bang bang bang bang bang... ii used to join in de fun.. but mostly,ii would laugh when ii watch uu just doiing your thang and beiing kejar by iibu straiight after that siince uu had messed up her kiitchen...When uu left me on that day,part of mie diied too... ii was unsure where ii would head next..where would ii go next.. ii diidnt realiise that love can hurt you so deep..that deep..When people asked how many siblings ii have,ii will always said,'' ii have 6 siblings iincluding mie.. ''... ii will not refer to him in the past tense because he is and will always be part of my life..ii siimply cant get over uu..ii keep thiinkiing of uu,24/7.. Lookiing at your piictures are my new-est hobby for the moment & would be my favouriite hobby forvever~ii know uu are iin a better place,free of sufferiing,free from experiienciing paiin.. But,ii cant just help iit and wiished uu would be here iinstead... ii still imagiine uu walkiing tru the front door,burstiing out in your greatest speciial smiile....whiile runniing towards me,giiving me ur teddy hug..ii could still imagiine uu sayiing,''yok pergii hongkong!'' when we are iin the liift goiing somewhere..ii could still imagiine uu,comiing iinto my room & plantiing a goodniight kiss on my cheek asii pretend to sleep... Then ii would suddenly grabbed uu and pull uu up onto my bed..Oh! How uu used to loved iit shriiek iin deliight....ii could still iimagiine uu wakiing up,opnning your eyes,when ii was touching you for the last time.. ii took my own sweet tiime as ii hold uu,ii touched ur arm,ur cheeks,ur liips...wonderiing,wiishiing & screamiing iinside,''Deco,bangun ah..Deco nak maiin2 kan kakak kan..Nak eksyen tidor jerr...tak baiik tau buat mcm ginik kat kitorang''..When ii realiised he wasnt wakiing up forever,then the truh fiinally registered iinto my bloody head..He iis gone forever...ii kissed you on ur head for the loongest tiime fter caressiing ur face...takiing my tiime to memoriise your faciial features or whatever you guys called iit...There's a speciial angel iin heaven
That iis a part of me
It iis not where we wanted hiim riight now
But where god wanted hiim to be
He was here just a moment,
Like a niight time shooting star
And though he iis iin heaven,
He iisnt very far
He touched the hearts of many
Like only an angel can do
We would have held hiim every miinute
If the end we only knew
So we send thiis speciial message
To heaven up above
Please take care of our angel
And send her all our love
--author unknown--
_yaNadarlZ_
